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Friday, March 9, 2012
A level-7 essay for ib english exam paper 1 - commentary.
62 comments:
Very helpful. Thank you :).
woow realy nice
hmmm....i think you're being kind of arrogant setting this up as the perfect commentary. for the most part your language is clumsy, you state the obvious and narrate rather than interpret. also, too much moralizing and flaunting of your personal opinion. you have hardly any ideas and have not grouped them together - very incoherent on the whole. I'd say this was a level five. If your teacher actually marked this as a seven, your school's obviously not a very 'quality' place.
Thanks for your comment, Anonymous. Of course, we all know that the humanities are always very subjective. This essay was written for me after graduation by a student who got level 7 in IB English, and since IB papers are graded by IB examiners, not the school, we will have to assume that the writing is worthy of a level 7. Hopefully these posts have helped some IB students improve their literary analysis and writing skills. But since the course has changed, I'll be taking these IB posts down soon anyway.
I have my Engligh HL P1 exam tomorrow and I just read this essay and found it very helpful. I think that everyone has a different writing style, mine is certainly very different to this, but it is still very helpful to see the different ways in which you can approach an analytical commentary. Yes the course has changed, but I still found this very helpful! Thank you very much and congratulations to Nerdvark for getting a 7 in English, I know that is very hard!!
Super helpful! Thanks loads and wow that's brilliantly written!!
There is either a typo or a misspelling where he talks about " "Fulfilling themselves" shows no evidence of animals needing to please a superior power. The Earth itself is thier reward their reward to walk" ". Thier.
Fixed - thank you!
Hello! I'm just starting my commentary and I'd just like to ask.. Are we not allowed to voice some connections? For example, would this be considered imposing my own opinion?: Through the repetition of the words “one man”, (lines 153, 155, and 157) Cassius emphasizes the incapability of Caesar to rule over Rome alone. [Due to Rome being a powerful empire, it would be unsuitable for one man to control the land without the counsel of others] The sentence in the square brackets, is that imposing my opinion? Is that acceptable to writei n a commentary? Ty and please answer as soon as possibleif you could... it's due in 2 days and I'm hoping I'd get some professional help! :) Thank you!
Hello, Anon. That's certainly a good way to analyze the writing. It would be improved by giving the effect on the reader, by the addition of a sentence: "This use of repetition shows the reader that Cassius is adamantly against Caesar, and encourages the reader to feel the same way." For more on this, see my post on PEEing (31 Jan, 2013) Giving your personal response would be more about how effective the writing was on you, such as "I found the repetition to be very persuasive. The more times I read the words 'one man,' the more I agreed that Caesar would not be able to rule such a vast empire." Thanks for reading! Good luck in your studies. -the Nerdvark (Nardvark's hidden nerd)
I have trouble completing my commentaries in the time given for the English IB examination. Can this commentary be written in 1.5 hours?
This was a Higher Level commentary, written in two hours, but keep in mind that practice makes perfect! Make sure you use The Writing Process - pace yourself and give yourself some time to PREWRITE (read and make notes on the extract), PLAN (memorize the five-paragraph essay plan so you can just plug your ideas into it), DRAFT (write the essay), REVISE (re-read your essay and add anything you can think of to improve it) and EDIT (re-read it again, checking for errors.) For more on this, check my posts on The Five Paragraph Essay Format (2 October, 2012) and Writing a Five Paragraph Essay (19 October, 2012). Thanks for your comment!
This is a pretty good analysis of the poem. However, the language and the sentence structure, I partially agree with one of the comments, is quite clumsy and lacks a formal structure. Considering the strict markings of the IB literature papers, I consider him to be quite lucky to be getting a 7. Though I appreciate his effort in demonstrating an effective method to tackle paper 1 commentary. Overall, it's a very good presentation of what is expected to be said and analyzed about a literary work.
just finished my paper 1. I read this 20 minutes before the exams, and it was really helpful. :)
Hi, I like the way you have analyzed the poem and would like your inputs on my own writing. I have done an analysis on "Suzanne" by Leonard Cohen which is an interesting poem but I can't seem to substantiate any concrete ideas. Pls help me out with the ideas along with the structure.
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IB Language and Literature: IB Language and Literature General Resources & Information
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Language and Literature
2021 Scope & Sequencing
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IB Excellent Extended Essays
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- An exploration into the nature and effect of realism in Gerald Murnane’s The Plains 2019
- A comparative exploration of David Mitchell's Cloud Altas and Haruki Murakami's 1Q84. To what extent do the alternative realities constructed in David Mitchell's Cloud Atlas and Haruki Muraksami's 1Q84 unify and differentiate the individual souls of their 2018
- Gwen Harwood's motherhood poems. How does Harwood's deconstruction of her image of motherhood in her poems, In the Park, Suburban Sonnet and Burning Sappho expose language's deceptive and elusive nature? 2018
- A comparative exploration of the poetry of Wislawa Szymborska and Adrienne Rich : How does imagery contribute to the exploration of tension between the individual & the collective in the human experience within both Wislawa Szymborska & Adrienne Rich's Po 2020
- The Introspection of Hegemonic Masculinity within the Stop It at the Start Campaign as a Tool : How does the introspective examination of hegemonic masculinity serve as a didactic method to reform culturally accepted norms concerning domestic violence? 2021
- An exploration of the role and significance of power in the dynamic between humans and animals in Ceridwen Dovey’s Only the Animals : In what ways does Ceridwen Dovey’s Only the Animals navigate human conflict through an animal perspective?: 2021
- How does the Penelopiad provide a feminist lens through which to analyse the role of women in The Odyssey?: The Penelopiad as a feminist lens through which to view The Odyssey. 2021
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New York Review of Books - Read it in the Fisher Library
The New York Review of Books is published 20 times each year. It contains, not surprisingly, reviews of books, plus poetry, essays and literary articles. The two most recent editions are displayed in the Fisher Library. Older copies are kept in the vault.(Please ask if you wish to see them) Many articles also appear online.
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Intro to Analysis for IB English
- Last updated on February 24, 2022
LitLearn Voted #1 IB English Resource for 2022
To get a 7 in IB English Literature or IB English Language and Literature, you must understand not just how to analyse, but how to analyse properly and correctly . It’s so easy to be confused by all the contradictory advice, but it’s not as hard or as confusing as it seems!
In this introductory guide, I explain the easiest, five-step approach to writing strong IB English analysis. In this guide, I go into the intuition behind analysis and the five simple steps that you can take to transform your analysis from an IB grade of 4 to 7. No more headaches. No more confusion. So what are we waiting for? Let’s get into it!
What exactly is analysis?
Analysis is the act of explaining how and why a writer uses specific language choices .
This is the fundamental task of IB English. If you understand this statement, then you will understand the whole of IB English. Let’s break it down.
“specific language choices” : We are intensely interested in the specific wording, literary techniques, punctuation, and grammar used by the writer of a given text. All of these aspects fall under language, so we must analyse all of them.
“explaining” : Always seek to explain these language choices rather than just stating the fact. Always go deeper. For example, don’t just say that “The writer uses technique X” and move on. You must go further in analysis, by addressing the two key questions:
- How / in what way is technique X being used?
- Why is technique X being used in this way?
“how” : Is it being used to construct an idea or create an emotional effect, or both at the same time? Is the technique being contrasted or combined with another technique to enhance its effectiveness? How a writer chooses to manipulate and utilise a technique is a unique to every text. There are infinite ways in which a technique can be used, but your job is to just consider and explain a particular usage by a particular writer of a particular text.
“why”: Why did the writer choose to use this specific word (or technique) instead of all the thousands of other capable options in the English language? Why this particular word? What makes this technique so special and important that the writer couldn’t help but use it?
Steps of analysis in a diagram
Teachers never teach English with diagrams, but they’re actually extremely useful in understanding how analysis works.
Here is a diagram to summarise what your understanding of analysis should look like at this very moment . Forget what you’ve learned before reading this guide, because everything that I’m teaching you now is the proven blueprint for IB English analysis. I used it to score high marks in IB English Literature, including a 20/20 in Paper 1.
The next step in this guide is to show you how to address these key questions of “how” and the “why” in your analytical writing. But first, let me introduce the five step formula that I know you’ve been waiting for.
Want to improve in IB English FAST like Hillary? 🤩
Hillary joined Analysis Simplified (get started for FREE!) after staying stuck on a 5 for IB English for so long. Within 2 days of following the 7-Day Analysis Simplified roadmap , she JUMPED to an IB6 (1 mark off a 7!). Hillary is now on a predicted IB7… which is unheard of in her English class. Jackson made a TikTok explaining EXACTLY how she used the course to improve so quickly.
@jacks0nhuang #hscenglish #vceenglish #ibenglish ♬ original sound – Jackson Huang
The Five Step Formula to IB English literary analysis
So you have a quote that you want to analyse. An example might be:
The wind danced to the music of the autumn birds as it wound its way through every branch, every tree, and every leaf in the quiet forest.
To learn the rest, get started with LitLearn’s Analysis Simplified course for FREE!
Jackson Huang
Skyrocket Your IB English Grade
Join thousands of ib english students inside litlearn..
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- How to Write persuasively
- How to Prep for Paper 1
- How to Prep for Paper 2
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Throughout this sample literary analysis, footnotes are used to highlight the key components of a literary analysis paper, including: • a strong thesis
Second, Interpretation - Nerdvark then goes into a detailed analysis of the poem, being sure to mention many Literary Features and their Effects
IB Language and Literature: Paper 1 Textual Analysis ... What running themes or ideas are relevant to the text? ... A Basic Essay Structure - Paper 1.
In this section you present the paragraphs (at least 3 paragraphs for a 500-750 word essay) that support your thesis statement. Good literary analysis essays
Get a 7 in IB English: https://courses.litlearn.com/Jackson Huang teaches the basics of IB English analysis through a practical example of a
How Does the Amanda Knox Documentary Highlight the Way in Which the Media Manipulates Legal Cases? Exemplar Mock HL Essay 3. In What Way Does
Topics included · What is a Paper 1? · What to write about in a guided analysis · The correct approach to analysis · The importance of the thesis
The Five Step Formula to IB English literary analysis. So you have a quote that you want to analyse. An example might be: The wind danced to the
In line with the IB Learner Profile, "Act with integrity and honesty". If you are a student and wish to access these resources, ask your school to subscribe.
English Literature for the IB Diploma ... Literary analysis for English Literature for the IB ... analysis, and to support your thesis or line of argument