With all my high level degrees and PHD's, I stumbled upon these questions......... 1. If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous? 2. Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?
How to get a phd in music, i'm starting a charity for phd students so they can finally afford to live on their own without the need for roommates....
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
What's the difference between a jungle cat who wrote his PhD thesis on the economic effects of taxation, and the order of insects that includes butterflies and moths?
What does phd stand for, my nerdy friend just got a phd on the history of palindromes., i tell my dates i have a phd in sex talk., having a phd. gains you leverage in online dating, due to the size of my student loans for my phd i have debts no honest man could pay...., i've been doing my psychology phd thesis on the mental health and wellbeing of little people. after 4 long years and multiple studies, i've concluded..., my socially anxious friend got a phd in palindromes., right after i got my phd in theoretical physics, i was able to land a job at stanford, i have a phd, engineer and an academic on a plane, i have a phd, i have finally completed my phd in literary criticism..., did you know that brian may, the guitarist from british rockband queen, has a phd on astrophysics, i’m like dr. strange without the phd and magic cape., why god never got a phd, what's the difference between a phd in mathematics and a large pizza, for my phd thesis, i wanted to write the best researched paper about general relativity, i was driving down a country road when i saw a sign: "talking dog for sale.", an illiterate dad and his son who has a phd in astrology went camping., finally got my phd, so my crush wants a guy with a phd, why dentist don't like phd holders , a phd student, a post-doc, and their professor are walking through a city park., become a phd, what do call a fish with a phd, so, i have this friend who studied to become an egyptologist, why are black people unable to get a phd, what do you call a black man with a phd , what does dr. pepper have his phd in, an awkward friend of mine just finished his phd in palindrome theory.., my phd student claims to have made a breakthrough in hyperbolic mathematics, two drunk people are sitting at a bar having an argument about coronavirus., a gen z kid and a boomer walk into a bar, hospitals are full of hypocrites, i've decided to get a phd in how much soda you should have for the end of the world., a harvard grad with a phd and a redneck with a 5th grade education are in a contest, after working long and hard for my phd people finally recognize me.., a rabbit says to a fox, "i'm writing a dissertation on how rabbits eat foxes", how do you make a venetian blind, my career’s in ruins, a physicist, an engineer and a statistician are on a hunting trip..., a white girl, an asian girl and a black girl are on a plane..., a doctor who was proud of his degrees..., a man walks into a brothel with $100, my chemistry professor e-mailed this joke to me., one day, a red fruit loop looked at himself in the mirror and said, "i need to become an orange fruit loop.", a man goes to the circus, there once was hippo child prodigy., educated sons, did you hear about the octopus who works as a therapist (nsfw), jeffrey vs. clown (long), why there are led lights now.
A list of puns related to "Phd"
I call him Dr. Awkward
She sure has a lot of photos in thesis.
I guess that makes me a spin doctor
I asked him if he is now called a Doctor of Pillosophy.
He's an aye doctor.
It was a 2nd-degree burn.
It was a third degree burn
They were all arrested for third-degree murder.
"What's with the third degree?"
Photos in thesis.
She really gave him the third degree.
My dad recently retired and has since gotten a new favorite joke that he tells everyone who calls to congratulate him with his retirement.
The pun doesn't really work in english(I'm danish), but I thought I would share it anyway. This is how it usually goes:
Caller: How are you holding up? are you enjoying your spare time?
Dad: I actually just started my pHD
Caller: What? Wow
Dad: Pensioner every day
(In danish It would be: P entionist h ver d ag, hence the PhD)
It's not funny at all, but he loves it and tells it to everyone
Outstanding in his field.
Dad: Are you thinking of doing a PhD?
Dad: oh is that how it's pronounced
Because no matter the amount of proof his work remained a mere Hippo Thesis.
Watching The Strain when the doctors start doing an autopsy on a vampire body
Sister: So the vampire virus destroys all of the hosts organs?
Me: No it just changes them into different organs.
Dad: Yeah, they're... disorganized!
Turns out she's just a spin doctor.
He said it has its pluses and minuses.
- Funniest Jokes
Why are black people unable to get a PhD? Because they can't get past their masters
"My first son has a PHD in arts, my daughter has two degrees in communication and jornalism and my youngest son is a burglar." Friend: "Wow a burglar? You should kick him out!" Dad: "Nah... he is the only one who makes money."
Why do few black people have a PhD? They have trouble getting past their masters.
I recently received my PhD in palindromes. I now go by Dr. Awkward
but I have a PhD... "Here's a broom go and sweep the floors." "But I have a PhD..." "Oh sorry, give me the broom, I'll show you how its done."
Why can't black people get PhD's? Because they can't get past their Masters.
What do you call an owl with a PhD? Doctor who
What do you call someone who does a BA in Arts, a MA in English and a PhD in Gender Studies? A well educated Barista
To the woman I met in the bar last night who was mad at me this morning I never said I had a PhD in theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical PhD in physics.
Did you hear about the prostitute with a PhD in Psychology? She'll blow your mind.
A father has 4 sons in his house. 3 have a PhD, but one is a robber. Why won't he kick out the robber? Because he's the only one making money
After many years of studying at a university, I’ve finally become a PhD Or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it.
What's the difference between a PhD in mathematics and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four.
My PhD student claims to have made a breakthrough in hyperbolic mathematics Turns out he was just exaggerating
A friend of mine is really set on becoming the first emperor of Asia, He's pursuing a PhD in English Literature... When I asked him why chose English Literature he said he wanted to be "a great reader".
Become a PhD After many years of studying at a university, I’ve finally become a PhD… or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it.
After working long and hard for my PhD people finally recognize me.. As the neighborhood pizza Hut delivery guy now.
What's the difference between a large pizza and a PhD in math? A large pizza can feed a family.
So my crush wants a guy with a phd And apparently that doesn't mean pretty huge debt
What do call a fish with a Phd? A brain sturgeon.
I'm starting a charity for PhD students so they can finally afford to live on their own without the need for roommates... It's called "Doctors without Boarders."
My friend said: “You have a BA, a Masters and a PhD, but you still act like an idiot…” It was a third degree burn.
I have a PhD Public Highschool Diploma
My friend said "You have a BA a masters and a PhD and you still act like an idiot".... It was a third degree burn!
I once held a PHD in the field of literature And then he asked me to put him down and pick up all the books I threw all over the grass
What's the difference between a PhD in math and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four
After his recent conviction for rape, two schools stripped their honorary PhD's from Bill Cosby... It's ok though, Michigan State just gave him another one.
I've decided to get a PhD in how much soda you should have for the end of the world. Dr. Prepper, at your service.
An awkward friend of mine just finished his PhD in palindrome theory.. Now he's Dr. Awkward.
Educated Sons 1st son : Degree in Economics. 2nd son: MBA. 3rd son : PhD 4th son : Thief Neighbour: Why can’t you throw the 4th son out of your house? Father : He is the only one earning money. The rest are unemployed.
After many years of studying at a university, I've finally become a PhD Man being a Pizza Hut Deliveryman is cool
Why are black peoples unable to get a PhD? Because they are unable to get past their masters.
I have a phd A pretty huge...
My stats teacher has a PHD in statistics, What are the odds of that?
How come there are only PHD and bachelor's degrees in Czechia? Because they have No Gods, No Masters.
What do you call a little person with a PhD? Doc.
What's more pathetic than a public school subsititute teacher with a PhD ? Nothing
100 The Best Graduation Jokes
Last Updated on November 14, 2022 by Michele Tripple
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Graduation jokes are perfect for cards, to make someone laugh or even cry! Use these jokes to help lighten the mood, be the life of the party, or to add to your graduation card! No matter how you use them you are sure to get a few chuckles from everyone!
Check out these other awesome jokes!
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Do your kids love jokes? Grab these fun joke cards for them to laugh at all the time! These are perfect for lunch box jokes, joke cards series, bedtime laughs, and more! Grab them now!
- The Best Graduation Jokes
Q. What did the boy say when his mom asked him why he didn’t pick up his phone at his graduation? A. I couldn’t pick up because the reception was horrible.
Q. What faculty member was friends with all the seniors? A. The princi-pal.
Q. What do all the TV seniors wear at their graduation ceremony? A. They all carry honor cords around.
Q. How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb? A. One, but it may take up to seven years!
Q. What happened when the girl didn’t pass her final exam for her cosmetology degree? A. She had to sign up for makeup classes.
Q. What happened when two seniors were sent to detention for making some horrible puns? A. They were pun-ished.
Q. Why did Mary want to work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet even though she’d graduated as the class valedictorian? A. It had been on her bucket list for a long time.
Q. What do you get when you complete science class? A. A graduated cylinder.
Q. What did the buffalo say when he dropped off his son for his last day of high school? A. Bison.
Q. Why was a married man not allowed to complete his undergraduate degree? A. Because he wasn’t a bachelor.
Q. What do you call it if a math major can’t seem to hold down a job after their graduation? A. It’s just a horrible after-math of the situation.
Q. What did the vampire say at his high school graduation? A. I would like to fang everyone for supporting me.
Knock Knock Who’s there! B-4! B-4 who? B-4 you take the diploma, shake the dean’s hand.
Q. Why does everyone think of all the whiteboard seniors? A. They’re pretty remarkable.
Q. What did the fashion mogul say to his son after he attended his convocation ceremony? A. I’m extremely Prada you.
Q. Why do all the bad high school seniors carry scissors? A. They love to cut class.
Q. When a mathematics student graduates… …do they get a degree or a radian?
Q. Why did none of the paper seniors end up graduating from high school? A. Their essays were tearable.
Q. How many PhD candidates do you need to change a single light bulb? A. You actually only need one, but it may take more than four years.
Q. I got hit by a car on my way to my graduation. A. The worst part is, I had the right of passage
Q. Why do most M&Ms want to go to college? A. They want to turn into Smarties.
Q. What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School? A. A law-botomy.
Q. Why did all the flight school students prefer to study in the airplane compared to on the ground? A. They wanted to get high grades in their final exam.
Graduations are so immature. You can hardly get to the end without name calling!
Q. Why are halls where graduation ceremonies conducted so warm? A. There are thousands of degrees packed in there.
Q. How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch? A. Pay him for the pizza!
Q. Why do all the students bring ladders after ninth grade? A. They’re in high school now.
Q. Why was the photographer fired from the high school graduation ceremony? A. He used to get into scuffles at the drop of a hat.
At my graduation, my friend called me a ranch Because I be dressing!
Q. How do all the bee high school seniors travel to public school? A. They all take a buzz.
Q. Why did one high school in the city stop organizing graduation ceremonies? A. There was too much name-calling in it.
My college graduation was held inside the basketball arena and man was it hot! A. Must have been like 5,000 degrees in there!
Q. What did the science degree say when the diploma said that getting an education was tough? A. I couldn’t degree more.
Q. Why was the piece of paper sad on graduation day? A. College Ruled.
LinkedIn is the worst dating app! All people want to talk about is work and what I plan on doing after graduation!
I used to get into fights at the drop of a hat. Which is probably why I got fired from my job as a graduation photographer.
Q. Why was the technical degree so upset after graduation? A. She wasn’t open to a service level degreement.
I ordered a graduation cake for my son. The baker asked me what I wanted it to say. Wow, talking cakes, who knew?
Q. What subject was a common favorite among the snake high school seniors? A. Most of them loved hiss-tory.
I will never forget my daughter’s words to me at her graduation. “Wow dad.. After 18 years you decide to come back…”
Q. What did the mother whale say to her daughter when she graduated from college? A. You’ve done so whale, I couldn’t be more proud.
Q. Did you hear about the statistics major who ended up homeless when they couldn’t find a job after graduation? A. It was a real bad after-math.
Q. What did the koala bear possess after doing an undergraduate degree in law from a prestigious college? A. He had the koalifications to practice as a full-time lawyer.
If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried. The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.
I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, “You have your whole life ahead of you.”
Q. What did the bay leaf tell his friends when he became the class valedictorian? A. I can’t beleaf I made it this far.
When my daughter asked me what to buy her friends for graduation presents. I suggested morning-after pills and bus passes.
Q. What did the turkey say to the vegetable when she got a degree from culinary school? A. I yam in awe of your talent.
Q. What do you tell a bag of popcorn after it graduates from College? A. Corn-gratulations!
Q. Why are all high school seniors, great script writers? A. Everyone has their own tran-script.
Q. Why was the baker so excited to go to the graduation party being hosted by her parents? A. Because she knew that she was going to have to make a toast.
Q. What did the herb say to his friends when he finally graduated from college with a degree in event management? A. It is now my thyme to party!
Q. Name a bus you can never enter. A. A syllabus.
Q. What did the father say to his son, the lightbulb, when he was receiving his degree in Optical and Imaging technologies? A. You have a very bright future ahead of you.
Q. What did the dessert say when he realized he was going to see his friends at his convocation for the last time? A. I donut want to graduate.
Q. Why did Christopher Columbus say his compasses and scales were intelligent? A. Because they all graduated.
Q. What do high school seniors use to pay off their debt? A. Extra credit.
Q. What did my puppy receive after he graduated from college? A. His pedigree.
Q. Why was the high school senior going broke? A. Nothing he did made cents.
Q. Which did Columbus say was smarter, longitude or latitude? A. Longitude, because it has 360 degrees.
Q. What should you mention to someone who has just graduated from college? A. Con-grad-ulations on your degree!
Q. Why did a broom not graduate from high school? A. He was sweeping in the classes.
Q. What kind of school do you graduate from if you’re a giant? A. High school.
Q. How did the culinary graduate’s final exam go? A. She says it was a piece of cake.
Q. What did the swordfish say to the marlin on graduation day? A. Looking sharp!
Q. Why did half of the cats in the senior class get expelled? A. They were found to be cheetahs.
Q. How do tall people graduate? A. They graduate top of their class.
Q. Why did the graduate bury all his money? A. To make his soil rich!
Q. What did the high school senior do in the humorous theatre performance? A. He was part of a play on words.
Q. What did the Peruvian animal say when he was graduating from high school? A. I’m so excited to hold my dip-llama in my hands.
Q. What is a graduated cylinder supposed to measure? A. He’s meant to measure the amount of degrees that are present.
Q. Why did the graduate put his money in the freezer? A. He wanted cold hard cash!
Q. What degree do wizards graduate in? A. Defense Against the Liberal Arts Degree.
Q. Why doesn’t the soda graduate like ranking beverages with carbon at work? A. He feels like the job is so-da grading.
Q. What did the high school senior do when he realized he was suffering from kleptomania? A. He started taking something for it.
Q. What state has the the loudest graduations? A. ILL-I-NOISE!
Q. What would you call a vessel filled with college graduates? A. It would be a scholarship.
Q. What is the one senior event that eliminates home-sickness for seniors in boarding school? A. Homecoming.
Q. Why was the high school senior so excited to become a pilot? A. He wanted to pursue higher education.
Q. Why was the high school senior buying lots of detergents? A. He wanted to get ready for his college freshers ahead of time.
I’d advise you graduates to keep your graduation gown. It’s the only outfit you might not outgrow.
Q. Why didn’t the pirate make it to the dean’s list when he graduated? A. All of his scores were in the C’s.
Q. Why didn’t the sun graduate college? A. Because it already had a million degrees!
Q. Why was the college graduate so sad when he graduated from college? A. He’d never found a bunch of mates he could clique with.
Q. Where did the ice-cream man graduate high school from? A. Sundae school.
Q. What did the college graduate ask when he entered his graduation ceremony? A. Is it one degree hotter in here?
Q. Why didn’t the skeleton go to graduation? A. Cause he had ‘no body’ to dance with.
Q. Why didn’t the new college course on flying become popular? A. Nobody saw it taking off.
Q. What did the frog senior do part-time in high school? A. He worked as a bellhop.
Q. What school teaches you how to greet people? A. Hi school!
Q. What did the relieved college senior say to his friends when he received a passing grade on his final exam? A. I’m grad that I’m finally done with that exam and with college.
Q. How did that one college have more than 50% of the graduating class in the country’s top percentile? A. All the professors had their faculties intact.
Q. Why does every student in their last year of high school need to learn sign language? A. It comes in handy in real life.
My son just graduated from college. My friends asked me what he majored in. I told them he was studying to be an astronaut: he took up space.
Q. Why did the college professor have to wear a pair of sunglasses when he was standing next to all the graduate students that were on the dean’s list? A. They were all really bright.
Q. Why was the bread senior such a good student? A. He was always on the honor roll.
Q. How did all of King Arthur’s tired men graduate from high school with good grades? A. They had a lot of sleepless knights.
Q. Why did one high school senior wear glasses in all of his math classes? A. Because it improved di-vision.
Q. What event were all the CD seniors excited for? A. P-rom.
Q. Why was one senior always sleeping? A. He was preparing for a dream job.
What are your favorite graduation jokes? Share in the comments!
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90 Best Graduation Jokes That Will Make The Grade
on 18 December 2020
on 8 December 2022
11 mins to read
Published on Dec 18, 2020
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For many people, their college and school time represents the best time of their life.
Graduation is known to be an emotional time for most high school and college students. A defining segment of your life is ending, and you're coming out of your shell and into the real world.
This list of graduation jokes might come in handy if you're a senior who's looking for their upcoming yearbook quote. Using a good yearbook quote goes a long way when you plan to make a lasting impression. In this list, you'll find a variety of jokes about graduation, high school senior jokes, college senior jokes, graduation day jokes, and the timeless light bulb joke. Just like the first day of high school and college can be nerve-wracking, the last day can be as well. The college graduation ceremony can be emotional for many. To ease some of your worries, we've prepared a list of the best graduation jokes we could concoct. We hope you like them a lot!
If you would like to read similar articles, you should check out 50 Graduation Puns To Celebrate With Teens and Library Jokes .
Best Graduation Jokes
If you're on the hunt for a funny graduation joke to mention in your speech, you've come to the perfect place! Here's a list of funny graduation jokes that can be used at any point in time. These work great as graduation jokes for speeches and can easily be converted into knock-knock jokes for graduation. Here is a list of the best jokes about graduation.
1. What did the boy say when his mom asked him why he didn't pick up his phone at his graduation? I couldn't pick up because the reception was horrible.
2. Why did Mary want to work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet even though she'd graduated as the class valedictorian? It had been on her bucket list for a long time.
3. What do you call it if a math major can't seem to hold down a job after their graduation? It's just a horrible after-math of the situation.
4. What did the fashion mogul say to his son after he attended his convocation ceremony? I'm extremely Prada you.
5. How many PhD candidates do you need to change a single light bulb? You actually only need one, but it may take more than four years.
6. Why do most M&Ms want to go to college? They want to turn into Smarties.
7. Why did all the flight school students prefer to study in the airplane compared to on the ground? They wanted to get high grades in their final exam.
8. Why are halls where graduation ceremonies conducted so warm? There are thousands of degrees packed in there.
9. Why was the photographer fired from the high school graduation ceremony? He used to get into scuffles at the drop of a hat.
10.Why did one high school in the city stop organizing graduation ceremonies? There was too much name-calling in it.
11. What did the science degree say when the diploma said that getting an education was tough? I couldn't degree more.
12. Why was the technical degree so upset after graduation? She wasn't open to a service level degreement.
13. What did the mother whale say to her daughter when she graduated from college? You've done so whale, I couldn't be more proud.
14. What did the koala bear possess after doing an undergraduate degree in law from a prestigious college? He had the koalifications to practice as a full-time lawyer.
15. What did the bay leaf tell his friends when he became the class valedictorian? I can't beleaf I made it this far.
16. What did the turkey say to the vegetable when she got a degree from culinary school? I yam in awe of your talent.
17. Why was the baker so excited to go to the graduation party being hosted by her parents? She was excited because she knew that she was going to have to make a toast.
18. What did the herb say to his friends when he finally graduated from college with a degree in event management? It is now my thyme to party!
19. What did the father say to his son, the lightbulb, when he was receiving his degree in Optical and Imaging technologies? You have a very bright future ahead of you.
20. What did the dessert say when he realized he was going to see his friends at his convocation for the last time? I donut want to graduate.
21. What did my puppy receive after he graduated from college? His pedigree.
22. What should you mention to someone who has just graduated from college? Con-grad-ulations on your degree!
23. How did the culinary graduate's final exam go? She says it was a piece of cake.
24. How do tall people graduate? They graduate top of their class.
25. What is a graduated cylinder supposed to measure? He's meant to measure the amount of degrees that are present.
26. Why doesn't the soda graduate like ranking beverages with carbon at work? He feels like the job is so-da grading.
27. What would you call a vessel filled with college graduates? It would be a scholarship.
Funny College Graduation Jokes
College students who are looking for funny graduation quotes can huddle here! We've got some great college graduation jokes that will make for a funny graduation ceremony. You can choose one graduation joke to include in your final speech as well. If you are interested in funny graduation one-liners, at least one graduation joke from this list will be right up your alley. Here is a list of funny college graduation jokes for you.
28. Why didn't the pirate make it to the dean's list when he graduated? All of his scores were in the C's.
29. What did the college graduate ask when he entered his graduation ceremony? Is it one degree hotter in here?
30. What did the relieved college senior say to his friends when he received a passing grade on his final exam? I'm grad that I'm finally done with that exam and with college.
31. Why did everyone think the valedictorian in the graduating class of 2020 was so charming? He was known to be a class act.
32. How did that one college have more than 50% of the graduating class in the country's top percentile? All the professors had their faculties intact.
33. Why did the college professor have to wear a pair of sunglasses when he was standing next to all the graduate students that were on the dean's list? They were all really bright.
34. Why was the college graduate so sad when he graduated from college? He'd never found a bunch of mates he could clique with.
35. Why didn't the new college course on flying become popular? Nobody saw it taking off.
36. What happened when the girl didn't pass her final exam for her cosmetology degree? She had to sign up for makeup classes.
37. How did your brother graduate at the top of his class with a major like Chemistry? I think he felt like he was finally in his element.
38. What did the principal give at the end of the culinary school convocation? He gave a stirring tribute.
39. What degree do wizards graduate in? Defense Against the Liberal Arts Degree.
40. Why did the fish not end up graduating? All of his grades were under C.
41. Why was a married man not allowed to complete his undergraduate degree? Because he wasn't a bachelor.
Funny Jokes About Seniors in High School
These funny jokes can act as the perfect high school graduation jokes to crack at your convocation ceremony. When you're standing there, proudly holding your diploma, you can crack one of these funny jokes and make everyone around you laugh. Here's a list of funny jokes about seniors in high school.
42. What did the Peruvian animal say when he was graduating from high school? I'm so excited to hold my dip-llama in my hands.
43. What happened when two seniors were sent to detention for making some horrible puns? They were pun-ished.
44. What happened when they found out about the kidnapping in the senior's auditorium? They woke him up.
45. Why did the high school senior not want to attend his prom? He thought the punch line was going to be too long.
46. Why was the bread senior such a good student? He was always on the honor roll.
47. Why did a broom not graduate from high school? He was sweeping in the classes.
48. Where did the ice-cream man graduate high school from? Sundae school.
49. What faculty member was friends with all the seniors? The princi-pal.
50. Why did the high school senior chuck his watch out the window? He wished that time would fly.
51. Why do all the students bring ladders after ninth grade? They're in high school now.
52. Why didn't the senior skeleton attend prom? He had no-body to dance with.
53. Why did the high school teacher lose her job? Her pupils were out of control.
54. Why was the high school senior so excited to become a pilot? He wanted to pursue higher education.
55. Why do all the bad high school seniors carry scissors? They love to cut class.
56. What subject was a common favorite among the snake high school seniors? Most of them loved hiss-tory.
57. How did the high school senior make straight A's? He used a ruler.
58. How did the high school senior get trapped inside of band class? He forgot the keys inside the piano.
59. What did the buffalo say when he dropped off his son for his last day of high school? Bison.
60. Where did the surfer complete his high school graduation from? Boarding school.
61. Why was the high school senior so shocked by the speed by which time flew? He hadn't thought it would Zoom by this fast.
Best Jokes About High School Seniors
Here's a list of the best jokes surrounding high school seniors for you.
62. How did the magician ace all of his tests in senior year? He was really good with trick questions.
63. Why was the high school senior buying lots of detergents? He wanted to get ready for his college freshers ahead of time.
64. What group does the high school faculty fear the most? The senior student's union.
65. Why are all high school seniors, great scriptwriters? Everyone has their own tran-script.
66. What do high school seniors play with in their free time? The dis-play board.
67. What do high school seniors use to pay off their debt? Extra credit.
68. What is the one senior event that eliminates home-sickness for seniors in boarding school? Homecoming.
69. What do all the TV seniors wear at their graduation ceremony? They all carry honor cords around.
70. What event were all the CD seniors excited for? P-rom.
71. Why does everyone think of all the whiteboard seniors? They're pretty remarkable.
72. Why did the high school seniors decide not to make a belt out of watches for senior prank day? They felt that it was going to be a waist of time.
73. Why was the high school senior going broke? Nothing he did made cents.
74. What did the high school senior do when he realized he was suffering from kleptomania? He started taking something for it.
75. What did the high school student who was afraid of negative numbers do when he realized his fear? He stopped at nothing to avoid them.
76. What did the high school senior do in the humorous theatre performance? He was part of a play on words.
77. Why was the high school senior who wanted to be an architect so good at planning? His plans were always concrete.
78. Why was one senior always sleeping? He was preparing for a dream job.
79. Why did one high school senior wear glasses in all of his math classes? Because it improved di-vision.
80. Why does every student in their last year of high school need to learn sign language? It comes in handy in real life.
81. How did the boiled egg become the class valedictorian at his high school graduation? Everyone found him hard to beat.
82. Why did one high school student fail his Braille class? He found it to be a touchy subject.
83. How did the shovel get a full-ride scholarship to her dream school? She invented something ground-breaking in college.
84. How did the senior in high school trip over his fallen books? He could only blame himshelf.
85. How did all of King Arthur's tired men graduate from high school with good grades? They had a lot of sleepless knights.
86. What did the frog senior do part-time in high school? He worked as a bellhop.
87. Why did half of the cats in the senior class get expelled? They were found to be cheetahs.
88. How do all the bee high school seniors travel to public school? They all take a buzz.
89. Why did none of the paper seniors end up graduating from high school? Their essays were tearable.
90. What did the vampire say at his high school graduation? I would like to fang everyone for supporting me.
Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for 90 Best Graduation Jokes then why not take a look at 36 Library Puns That You Won't Be Able To Stay Quiet Reading , or 30 Book Puns For Your Little Bookworms .
Rajnandini is an art lover and enthusiastically likes to spread her knowledge. With a Master of Arts in English, she has worked as a private tutor and, in the past few years, has moved into content writing for companies such as Writer's Zone. Trilingual Rajnandini has also published work in a supplement for 'The Telegraph', and had her poetry shortlisted in Poems4Peace, an international project. Outside work, her interests include music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading. She is fond of classic British literature.
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What Does 'PhD' Stand For?
A PhD is a terminal academic degree students typically pursue when they're interested in an academic or research career.
A PhD is the highest possible academic degree a student can obtain. It stands for “Doctor of Philosophy,” which refers to the immense knowledge a student gains when earning the degree. Students typically pursue a PhD when they're interested in an academic or research career—or if they want to take their education as far as it can go.
This article goes beyond the definition of a PhD, and touches on important information you’ll need to know about the degree, so you can decide whether pursuing one is the best choice for you.
What is a PhD?
A PhD is an academic degree that combines general knowledge of a field with specific mastery of an area of subtopic within that field. For example, earning your PhD in political science means you have a general foundation of the field, but likely also specialize in a more focused area, such as American or comparative politics, or political economy.
PhDs—also known as doctorates—are terminal degrees , meaning they are the highest level of degree that you can achieve in certain fields, such as cognitive psychology, mathematics, English, economics, evolutionary biology, and public health.
What does it take to earn a PHD?
PhD programs typically require you to complete advanced coursework, a comprehensive exam that tests your knowledge of your particular field, and a dissertation (or original body of research), though the specific requirements will differ by program or university.
How long does a PhD take?
It takes between four and seven years to earn your doctorate, though it often depends on what you study. For example, it typically takes less than seven years to earn an engineering PhD, while it can take up to 12 years to earn an education PhD. Writing a dissertation is often credited with adding to the length of time it takes to complete a PhD program.
Learn more: How Long Does It Take to Get a PhD?
PhDs vs. other terminal degrees
A PhD is not the only kind of terminal degree you can earn. In fact, there are two other types of terminal degrees that tend to be more career focused.
PhDs and professional doctorates are similar in that they are both the most advanced academic degrees you can earn, but a PhD requires a dissertation and a professional doctorate requires a doctoral study.
PhDs are focused on producing original research, whereas professional doctorates typically have some professional experience they apply toward researching a solution to a practical problem. If you have significant experience in a professional field, such as business administration or public health, you might choose to pursue a professional doctorate because you can use your knowledge and expertise in more concrete ways.
A professional degree is the PhD equivalent for certain professions, like for a medical doctor, dentist, or lawyer. Whereas a PhD tends to promote a historical and theoretical education, a professional degree emphasizes a practical education because it’s designed for you to begin working in medicine or law after you graduate and pass additional licensing requirements.
Education requirements for a PhD
Obtaining your PhD requires earning your bachelor’s degree and likely your master’s degree before you can begin applying to doctorate programs. However, there are some programs that combine the master’s degree with the PhD so that you spend less time earning both and can begin once you finish your bachelor’s degree.
Let's look at the two most important degrees you’ll need to complete before you can begin pursuing your PhD.
You will need to earn a bachelor’s degree before pursuing more advanced degrees, like a master’s or PhD. You don’t have to choose a major related to your eventual doctorate, though it can help to pick a complementary subject so you have a strong foundation before taking higher-level coursework. For example, if you want to obtain a PhD in economics, then it might help to major in economics, finance, business, or even political science as an undergraduate.
While graduate programs don’t always expect applicants to have studied the same field as the one they’re applying to, you will need to explain your interest in the field of your potential graduate work and have some knowledge about what you want to study within it. Aligning your undergraduate and graduate focuses may also help you move through your graduate coursework faster.
Learn more: How to Get a Bachelor’s Degree
A master’s degree is an advanced degree you can pursue after earning your undergraduate degree. PhD programs typically require a master’s before admitting you, though as we noted above, some programs may combine degree tracks to decrease the amount of time to completion.
Master’s degrees take between one and three years to finish , depending on whether you’re able to attend part-time or full-time. Master’s degrees enhance your level of expertise in your field, and you can pursue many higher-level careers with the credential—or continue with your education and apply to PhD programs.
Learn more: Is a Master’s Degree Worth It?
Benefits of a PhD
There are a number of reasons why you might want to pursue your PhD. Let’s hone in on four of them:
Become an expert
People who obtain PhDs have the highest possible education in their field. As such, they're often considered to be genuine experts in that subject matter. You may feel a tremendous amount of personal satisfaction from having achieved this level of mastery.
Contribute original research
Adding to the knowledge of a particular field is no small feat. When you write your dissertation, you will have the opportunity to make a valuable original contribution that either expands people’s understanding of a subject or brings an entirely new perspective to it.
Broaden your job opportunities
Earning a PhD could qualify you to work in academia or research, but it may also increase your qualifications—or help you stand out—for jobs that do not necessarily require a PhD. Holding a PhD may convey to employers that you’re knowledgeable, hardworking, and disciplined because of what it takes to earn the degree.
Increased salary potential
On average, people with PhDs can potentially make more than those with undergraduate degrees, depending on your profession. The median weekly earnings of a person with a PhD in the United States is $1,885 compared to $1,305 for bachelor's degree holders [ 1 ]. A doctorate can also lead to higher lifetime earnings. A bachelor’s degree graduate will earn an average of $2.3 million over their lifetime, but PhD graduates earn an average of $3.3 million over their lifetimes [ 2 ].
Careers that typically require a PhD
A PhD is an academic credential necessary to teach at the university level or conduct high-level research in a number of fields, such as the life and social sciences. The following careers typically require a doctorate:
Dean of students
Careers where a PhD may help you advance
While the careers listed below generally require a master’s degree, according to the BLS, earning your PhD may help you qualify for more advanced roles within the profession—or help you develop more specialized knowledge to succeed in your career [ 3 ].
If you're contemplating getting your PhD and have not yet earned your master’s, explore a number of master’s degree options from prestigious universities in high-growth fields, such as computer science , business , management , or public health . Work toward your degree at your own pace from anywhere with an internet connection.
How Long Does It Take to Get a PhD?
A Guide to Professional Degrees
GMAT vs. GRE: Which Should I Take?
Should You Go Back to School? 7 Things to Consider
How Many Credits Do You Need to Graduate?
1. US Bureau of Labor Statistics.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. “ Education Pays, 2020 : Career Outlook , https://www.bls.gov/careeroutlook/2021/data-on-display/education-pays.htm." Accessed January 26, 2022.
2. MDSD. “ Executive Summary: the College Payoff , https://www.mdsd.org/cms/lib/ID01904072/Centricity/domain/119/documents/The%20Collegepayoff-summary.pdf." Accessed January 26, 2022.
3. US Bureau of Labor Statistics. “ Home , https://www.bls.gov/." Accessed January 26, 2022.
This content has been made available for informational purposes only. Learners are advised to conduct additional research to ensure that courses and other credentials pursued meet their personal, professional, and financial goals.
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72 Funny Graduation Jokes – you are ready when you are ready!
Besides these hilarious jokes about graduation, we also collected the funniest school jokes . And since we are at it, we also put together funny teacher jokes .
Lighten up your mood while preparing for your graduation day, or you can add these to your graduation cards! Pretty sure that you’ll get a few chuckles from everyone!
Sharing these jokes? ❤️️
Please add a link to this article . Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers 🙂
We share with you:
Graduation Day Jokes for Speeches
One thing about the school of experience is that… It will repeat the lesson if you flunk the first time. I had a look and collected the funniest graduation jokes for speeches for you to get inspired by. Try to be original if you can. You could even consider insider jokes that are funny within your district. Be creative and enjoy our graduation speech jokes!
I would like to thank… The Internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Office, and Copy and Paste
Thank You, Red Bull, Google, Vodka, and Wikipedia for making this possible.
What did the boy say when his mom asked him why he didn’t pick up his phone at his graduation?
I couldn’t pick up because the reception was horrible.
Why was the technical degree so upset after graduation?
She wasn’t open to a service-level agreement.
How did the culinary graduate’s final exam go?
She says it was a piece of cake.
Why doesn’t the soda graduate like ranking beverages with carbon at work?
He feels like the job is so-da grading.
Graduation Knock Knock Jokes
Knock-knock jokes are classic and our collection will definitely make your classmates and teachers laugh. Learn some of our hilarious graduation jokes.
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?…
Noah good college jokes?
Read more: Jokes about Studying – for School, College and University
Knock Knock Who’s there! B-4! B-4 who?
B-4 you take the diploma, shake the dean’s hand.
Why didn’t the pirate make it to the dean’s list when he graduated?
All of his scores were in the C’s
How did your brother graduate at the top of his class with a major like Chemistry?
I think he felt like he was finally in his element.
Laugh more: EPIC Classroom Chemistry Jokes
Are you excited about your convocation ceremony? Enjoy your hard work and boast about it because you deserve it! While you are at it, you can also banter some of our jokes for a good laugh.
What did the principal give at the end of the culinary school convocation? He gave a stirring tribute.
What did the fashion mogul say to his son after he attended his convocation ceremony? I’m extremely Prada you.
What did the dessert say when he realized he was going to see his friends at his convocation for the last time? I donut want to graduate.
Laugh more: Funny Motivational Quotes To Study Hard
High School Graduation Puns
These funny graduation puns are so hilarious! Graduation is such a memorable event in our lives. Everybody is looking forward to it and sometimes it can be so emotional. So, before tears run down your face, throw some funny graduation puns to lighten the mood.
What happened when two seniors were sent to detention for making some horrible puns?
They were pun-ished.
What should you mention to someone who has just graduated from college?
Con-grad-ulations on your degree!
Now, the cylinder and I are both graduated.
And the rest is history…
The limit does not exist.
Laugh more: Hilarious History Jokes
Game of loans. Interest is coming.
Now, it’s one degree hotter in here.
What did the bay leaf tell his friends when he became the class valedictorian?
I can’t beleaf I made it this far.
Laugh more: Funny Fall Jokes
If I learned something from my graduation, a long time ago,
it’s that those loud encyclopedias paid off. They speak volumes!
Funny Graduation Jokes One Liners
Graduation is not always fun because it also means you and your friends are parting ways. But don’t worry because we can help you with that. One-liners can totally lift your spirit so check it out.
Laugh more: Jokes about Teachers and Students
I think sleeping was my problem in school. If the school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I’d be a college graduate today.
Where you trade the agony of writing term papers for the agony of writing resumes.
Laugh more: Funny Writing Jokes
At my graduation, my friend called me a ranch
Because I will be dressing!
Graduation Party Jokes
Come on and let’s have a good time. Graduation parties are a way of reminiscing your moments in school before you move on to another adventure of your life. Have a look at jokes for some giggle.
What did the herb say to his friends when he finally graduated from college with a degree in event management?
It is now my thyme to party!
Why was the baker so excited to go to the graduation party being hosted by her parents? She was excited because she knew that she was going to have to make a toast.
What did the herb say to his friends when he finally graduated from college with a degree in event management? It is now my thyme to party!
Short Graduation Jokes
These jokes are easy to remember so you better start learning them. Have a look at our short graduation jokes for you to share.
Where did the surfer complete his high school graduation from?
Why did the students study on airplanes?
Because they wanted higher grades.
Read more: FUNNY Jokes About Studying
How many Ph.D. candidates do you need to change a single light bulb?
You only need one, but it may take more than four years.
What do you get when you complete science class?
A graduated cylinder.
Read more: Funny Science Jokes Ideas
Why do all the bad high school seniors carry scissors?
They love to cut class.
I got hit by a car on my way to my graduation.
The worst part is, I had the right of passage.
Graduations are so immature.
You can hardly get to the end without name-calling!
Whale done, graduate.
Why was the bread senior such a good student?
He was always on the honor roll.
High School Graduation Jokes
How about some jokes for seniors? Senior years are over but it doesn’t mean that the fun also ends with it. have your last hurrah with our senior year jokes and senior year puns.
Laugh more: Teenage jokes one-liner for the hearts of millennials!
What faculty members were friends with all the seniors?
Why did a broom not graduate from high school?
He was sweeping in the classes.
Why did none of the paper seniors end up graduating from high school?
Their essays were tearable.
Why do most M&Ms want to go to college?
They want to turn into Smarties.
Why did everyone think the valedictorian was so charming?
He was known to be a class act.
Why did the high school senior chuck his watch out the window?
He wished that time would fly
What kind of school do you graduate from if you’re a giant?
Why did one high school in the city stop organizing graduation ceremonies?
There was too much name-calling in it.
After twelve years of carrying books to school, you’re well prepared for a career in backpacking.
Why was the photographer fired from the high school graduation ceremony?
He used to get into scuffles at the drop of a hat.
University Graduation Jokes
Looking for more funny grad jokes? Our jokes for graduation guarantee a good laugh. Have a look at our collection and share it with your friends and classmates.
Why was the college graduate so sad when he graduated from college? He’d never found a bunch of mates he could clique with.
Why didn’t the new college course on flying become popular? Nobody saw it taking off.
What happened when the girl didn’t pass her final exam for her cosmetology degree? She had to sign up for makeup classes.
How did your brother graduate at the top of his class with a major like Chemistry? I think he felt like he was finally in his element.
What degree do wizards graduate in? Defense Against the Liberal Arts Degree.
College Graduation Jokes
Imagine entering a new chapter of your life. Isn’t it exciting? After college, real life begins. You pay your own bills, find a living, and some even start a family. Yes, we know how real it gets so before you worry about all that, have a good laugh with our college graduation humor jokes.
Game of Loans. The Walking Debt
Why didn’t the new college course on flying become popular?
Nobody saw it taking off.
What do you call it if a math major can’t seem to hold down a job after their graduation?
It’s just a horrible after-math of the situation.
Read more: EPIC Math Jokes
Choose a major you love and you’ll never work a day in your life because that field probably isn’t hiring.
What happened when the girl didn’t pass her final exam for her cosmetology degree?
She had to sign up for makeup classes.
Educated people are hot because they have more degrees.
When a mathematics student graduates…
…do they get a degree or a radian?
One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it is.
Why was the baker so excited to go to the graduation party being hosted by her parents?
She was excited because she knew that she was going to have to make a toast.
Why are halls where graduation ceremonies are conducted so warm?
There are thousands of degrees packed in there.
What degree do wizards graduate in?
Defense Against the Liberal Arts Degree.
Funny High School Graduation Jokes
Graduation ceremonies are full of emotions; there’s excitement, fear, and happiness. So, if you’re fear is overpowering your joy, you better check our high school senior jokes. These will totally calm your nerves.
What did the Peruvian animal say when he was graduating from high school? I’m so excited to hold my dip-llama in my hands.
What happened when two seniors were sent to detention for making some horrible puns? They were pun-ished.
What happened when they found out about the kidnapping in the senior’s auditorium? They woke him up.
Why did the high school senior not want to attend his prom? He thought the punch line was going to be too long.
Why was the bread senior such a good student? He was always on the honor roll.
Why did a broom not graduate from high school? He was sweeping in the classes.
Where did the ice-cream man graduate high school from? Sundae school.
What faculty member was friends with all the seniors? The princi-pal.
Why did the high school senior chuck his watch out the window? He wished that time would fly.
We compiled all these humorous jokes that will crack you up before, during, and even after graduation day! Now you’ve graduated, your favorite show must be “Breaking Grad”!! Own your success and cap that graduation!
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Do you know someone with a college degree? Get ready to laugh! This article has the best jokes about degree holders from undergraduate to PhD in mathematics, psychology, sciences, astrophysics, and geography. Whether it's a master's degree or a bachelor's degree, a second degree, or a doctorate in any subject, here are the funniest jokes about degree holders.
Playful Degree Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
Why did the slave go to college.
To pick up his master's degree.
Why shouldn't you argue with a 90 degree angle?
It's always right.
Why was the 40 degree angle so nice to the 50 degree angle?
Because its very complementary!
As anyone with a journalism degree will tell you...
The fact Superman got a job with a newspaper at the end is the strangest thing to happen in that movie.
How will we truly reach gender equality?
By leaving the toilet seat at a 45 degree angle for the next person to decide without bias.
A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job...
...advertised in the Manchester Evening News. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. "I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "How do you mean?" says the accountant. "I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters." "OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?" "You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner. "Seventy-five thousand pounds. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?" "That," says the man, "is your first worry."
'Sex' and 'Love' ....;)
At the retreat, a couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and 'love.' The woman wrote: When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and they respect each other very much, just like my hubby and I, it is spiritually and morally acceptable for them to engage in the act physical sex with one another. The Husband wrote: I Love Sex.
How are mashed potatoes similar to an online college degree?
If it ends up on your wall, you're probably retarded.
David Cameron has said Scotland could become a third world country if they become independent. I'm not sure if things will improve to that degree, but you never know
Why did the oven go back to University?
To get another degree. - My sister thought it up and found it so funny she called to tell me.
A man with amazing sideburns
A man has amazing side burns and decides that he wants to go to college for sideburn grooming. He dedicates his whole life to this purpose, getting his bachelor's, master's, and doctorate's degrees after many years. In other words, he has third degree burns.
- master degree
- college degree
- bachelor degree
- second degree
- psychology degree
- maths degree
You can explore degree undergrad reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean degree stanford dad jokes. There are also degree puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
When a mathematics student graduates
do they get a degree, or a radian?
How did Will Smith get caught for committing 1st degree murder?
He left fresh prints all over the scene.
I have degrees in Politics, Economics and Psychology.
I don't have a job but at least I know why.
I'm sick of numbers defining who I am.
* My GPA * My weight * My 1st degree murder convictions * My grades * My SAT scores These things are not who I am.
My fisherman friend got his Master's degree.
Now he's a Master Baiter.
My son's arts and crafts class isn't graded.
I'm glad they teach kids how worthless a liberal-arts degree is at such a young age.
A grandma is shopping with her grandson.The grandson picks up a toy and the grandma shouts: "Degree, put the toy back"! A woman who was shopping heard this and asked, is that his name? The grandma replied "Yes I sent his mother to university and this is what she brought back
Hillary Clinton is in the hospital...
She is being treated for third degree Berns.
I asked my chemist friend if it took him 4 years to get his degree...
He said "Sodium Bromate."
What does a bowl of spaghetti and a degree from Phoenix online both have in common?
If it ends up on your wall you're probably retarded.
I went to one of those colleges where you can make up your own degree...
I ended up with a major in paedophilia and a minor in the back of my van.
People are giving Hillary too much flak for fainting
I mean come on, it was 92 degrees out there, how can you expect an older women to withstand 102 degree heat. I'd like to see you give a speech in 112 degree heat and see if you can make it as far as her.
It's 80 degrees in San Francisco today.
Girls are wearing skirts so short you can almost see their dicks.
Where did Dr. Pepper get his degree?
The University of Minnesoda
I have a degree in Liberal Arts
Do you want fries with that?
The graduate with a science degree asks, 'Why does it work?' The graduate with an engineering degree asks, 'How does it work?' The graduate with an accounting degree asks, 'How much will it cost?' The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks, 'Do you want fries with that?'
What's more useless than a Gender Studies degree?
the feminist holding it
A Grand Prize
I phoned my local radio station today. When the guy answered the phone he said, "Congratulations on being our 1st caller, all you have to do is answer the next question correctly to win our grand prize." "Wahoo!" I shouted in delight. "It's a Maths question," he said. "Feeling confident?" "I've got a degree in Maths and I teach it at my local school," I proudly replied. "Okay then, to win 2 VIP tickets to see Justin Bieber and to meet him back stage afterwards, what's 2+2?" "7," I replied.
Why was the 89 degree angle not trusted
He's never right
I've decided to put off my gender transition surgery until after I've gotten my linguistics degree
I'm a trans later
A person with an art degree walks into a bar.
They then head behind the counter and start serving drinks.
A blind man walks into a gay bar.
He walks up to the lesbian bartender and says "hey you wanna hear a blonde joke?". The bartender says "Let me tell you a few things since you're blind, I am a blonde bartender who keeps a shotgun under the table. The bouncer is a 6ft blonde with a 4th degree black belt in judo. The woman beside you is a blonde biker with the local gang. The owner of this bar is a blonde army veteran who did four tours in Iraq. Now do you really want to tell that joke here?". The blind man thinks for a second and says "Naaahh, not if i have to explain it four times."
I didn't want to believe that my dentist's medical degree was fake
But the tooth hurts.
A person with a science degree asks "why does it work?" A person with an engineering degree asks: "how does it work?" A person with an accounting degree asks: "how much does it cost?" A person with an art degree asks:
"do you want fries with that?"
What's the difference between a large pepperoni pizza and an English degree?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
What's the difference between a philosophy degree and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
I was waiting for a green light when I saw an elderly woman walking with a small child. The excited young girl was walking slightly faster than the old lady, so the woman yelled, Degree! Wait for me! Intrigued by such a unique name, I got out of the car and asked why she called the girl Degree. She said, Well, I sent her mother to college to get an education, and she came home with this instead. Credit to u/Princess_Kookie
I got a speeding ticket last month and took it to court
Rudy Giuliani was my lawyer and plead me down to second degree murder
Physics Teacher's Story
Speed and Velocity are brothers. Velocity went to college and got a science degree with which he's earning a six figure salary. Speed dropped out and still lives with his parents in their basement. Speed lacks Direction.
What do you say to someone with a degree in art?
Hamburger and fries, please.
90 degrees is pretty hot for most people,
But for mathematicians, it's just right.
Pets are like countries.
Dogs are like Canada. They're incredibly friendly, but to some, to a naive degree. Cats are like England. They're rude and act like they're better than everybody, but we find them so charming for some reason. Parrots are like America. They blindly repeat anybody they believe is of higher intelligence, especially if the owner is Russian. Goldfish are like Carpatho-Ukraine. They'd be lucky to last a year.
My friend said, You have a B.A., Master's, and a Ph.D, but you still act like a moron.
It was a third degree burn.
My daughter informed me that the earth is tilted at a 23.5 degree angle
I responded, That's not right. With a scowl, she pulled up google and proved to me that the earth is, in fact, tilted at a 23.5 degree angle. Precisely, I agreed. If the angle were right it would be 90°.
With all that's going on, I told my dad that finishing my degree in astrophysics may not be the kind of science the world needs right now.
He looked away from the TV long enough to say, "Black holes matter." Sigh... "Yeah, Dad. They are."
My sister suddenly started sobbing talking about her job prospects with a philosophy degree.
I said, Are you having an existential cry, sis?
If you commit a 1st degree murder in Canada
is it a 34 degree murder in the US?
What do you call a doctor with an online degree?
Damn. My wife just found out that after I got my Bachelor degree at the University of Barad-dûr, I went back and got my Masters there...
I've been found guilty of second-degree Mordor.
I got an honours degree in calligraphy.
To be honest I don't think it's going to help me get a job, But it looks good on paper...
A degree in agriculture is great to have.
It allows you to work in a variety of fields.
Kelvin and Celsius had a job interview but only one of them got the job.
It was Celsius because he had a degree.
I just finished a college degree in Philosophy.
Now I'm qualified to ask WHY you want fries with that.
We should all stop studying to prevent global warming
Because everytime someone graduates, the world increases by a degree.
Yet another art major joke
An artist walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Hey, here's an art joke. How do you get an art major off your front porch? You pay for the pizza!" the bartender jests. "Oh, very funny. I'll have you know that now that I have my fine arts degree I don't have to deliver to people anymore. In fact, people come to me, money in hand, explaining what they want me to create," the artist indignantly replies. "Then let me guess .... you tell them to pull up to the next window," the bartender says.
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a sociology degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
A Pure Mathematics degree is useless…
I want a Pure Mathematics radian.
My friend had an affair with a patient. Worked so hard to achieve his degree and one mistake means he lost everything.
A great loss to the veterinary profession.
A history degree is useless
Because there's no future in it.
My friend said: You have a BA, a Masters and a PhD, but you still act like an idiot…
A taste of what my wife has to deal with.
My wife was stepping on my back and she suddenly asked "How do dominatrixs not kill people when they do this with stilettos. Do they have to get certified or classes?" I told her "The only certification for dominatrix is a master's degree" Top tier groan in response.
There's no future in it.
Why were the wives of a polygamist awarded a degree in physics?
For splitting an Adam.
I knew a guy who said he didn't marry his high school sweetheart until after he finished college.
I asked him, "How come?" He said, "Well, duh. I was working on my bachelor's degree."
My friend told me, You have a Bachelor's, a Master's, and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot.
That was a third degree burn.
The perpetrator killed the victim by keeping him in a temperature chamber set to 1C
The sentence was first degree murder.
I had an argument with a 90 degree angle...
Turns out it was right.
What's the difference between a social media influencer and a philosophy major?
The philosophy major needed a degree to be useless.
What does a doctor with a comedian degree do?
He leaves the patients in stiches
What do you call a column with a degree?
A graduated cylinder
Why didn't Anakin Skywalker become an engineer?
He couldn't get a Master's degree.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the degree college degree puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working degree master degree piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.
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Grad Student Jokes (from jnoakes) [satire]
This collection of graduate student jokes used to live at http://www.chat.carleton.ca/~jnoakes/grad.html but is now down. It was rescued from there using the Wayback Machine. I'm not a graduate student, but I have still found it funny.
Table of Contents
You know you're a grad student when....
- The Top Ten Lies Told by Graduate Students
- Top Five Lies Told by Teaching Assistants
The truth about grad students, post-docs, and professors
- Top ten reasons why God never received tenure
- Top ten reasons why He doesn't give a damn
Why God never received a Ph.D.
- Grad Student Barbie
Linguistics for Academicians and Fellow Travelers
- you can identify universities by their internet domains.
- you are constantly looking for a thesis in novels.
- you have difficulty reading anything that doesn't have footnotes.
- you understand jokes about Foucault.
- the concept of free time scares you.
- you consider caffeine to be a major food group.
- you've ever brought books with you on vacation and actually studied.
- Saturday nights spent studying no longer seem weird.
- the professor doesn't show up to class and you discuss the readings anyway.
- you've ever travelled across two state lines specifically to go to a library.
- you appreciate the fact that you get to choose which twenty hours out of the day you have to work.
- you still feel guilty about giving students low grades (you'll get over it).
- you can read course books and cook at the same time.
- you schedule events for academic vacations so your friends can come.
- you hope it snows during spring break so you can get more studying in.
- you've ever worn out a library card.
- you find taking notes in a park relaxing.
- you find yourself citing sources in conversation.
- you've ever sent a personal letter with footnotes.
- you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.
- your office is better decorated than your apartment.
- you have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the Internet.
- you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
- you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
- you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.
- everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
- you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
- you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper.
- there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."
- you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
- you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library.
- you look forward to summers because you're more productive without the distraction of classes.
- you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
- you consider all papers to be works in progress.
- professors don't really care when you turn in work any more.
- you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text.
- you have given up trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
- you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
- you find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th grade".
- you start refering to stories like "Snow White et al."
- you often wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy.
- you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry.
- you have more photocopy cards than credit cards.
- you wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as "personal communication".
- you have a favourite flavour of instant noodle.
The Top Ten Lies Told by Graduate Students (according to the Harvard Crimson)
- 10. It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate is making $80,000 a year on Wall Street.
- 9. I'd be delighted to proofread your book/chapter/article.
- 8. My work has a lot of practical importance.
- 7. I would never date an undergraduate.
- 6. Your latest article was so inspiring.
- 5. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.
- 4. I just have one more book to read and then I'll start writing.
- 3. The department is giving me so much support.
- 2. My job prospects look really good.
- 1. No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years.
Top Five Lies Told by Teaching Assistants:
- 5. I'm not going to grant any extensions.
- 4. Call me any time. I'm always available.
- 3. It doesn't matter what I think; write what you believe.
- 2. Think of the midterm as a diagnostic tool.
- 1. My other section is much better prepared than you guys.
A grad student, a post-doc, and a professor are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.
The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."
"Me first! Me first!" says the grad student. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman who sunbathes topless." Poof! He's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the post-doc. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof! He's gone.
"You're next," the Genie says to the professor.
The professor says, "I want those guys back in the lab after lunch."
One sunny day, a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the fine weather. The day was so nice that she became careless and a fox snuck up behind her and caught her.
"I am going to eat you for lunch!" said the fox. "Wait!" replied the rabbit," You should at least wait a few days."
"Oh yeah? Why should I wait?"
"Well, I am just finishing my dissertation on 'The Superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves.'"
"Are you crazy? I should eat you right now! Everyone knows that a fox will always win over a rabbit."
"Not according to my research. If you like, you can come into my hole and read it for yourself. If you are not convinced, you can go ahead and eat me for lunch."
"You really are crazy!" said the fox, but since the fox was curious and had nothing to lose, it went into the hole with the rabbit.
The fox never came out.
A few days later, the rabbit was again taking a break from writing when a wolf came out of the bushes and was ready to set upon her.
"Wait!" yelled the rabbit," You can't eat me right now."
"And why might that be, my furry appetizer?" said the wolf.
"I am almost finished with my dissertation on 'The Superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves.'"
The wolf laughed so hard he almost let go of the rabbit. "Maybe I shouldn't eat you--you really are sick in the head! You might have something contagious."
"Come and read it for yourself, you can eat me afterwards if you disagree with my conclusions."
So the wolf went down into the rabbit's hole...and never came out.
The rabbit finished her dissertation and was out celebrating in the local lettuce patch.
Another rabbit came along and asked, "What's up? You seem very happy."
"Yup, I just finished my dissertation."
"Congratulations! What's it about?"
"'The Superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves.'"
"No way! That can't be right."
"Oh, but it is. Come and read it for yourself."
So the two rabbits went down into the rabbit hole. As they entered, the friend saw the typical graduate abode. A computer with the controversial work was in one corner surrounded by discarded papers. And on one side of the room there was a pile of fox bones, while on the other side there was a pile of wolf bones. And in the center, there was a large, well-fed lion.
The moral of the story:
The title of your dissertation doesn't matter. The subject doesn't matter. The research doesn't matter. All that matters is who your advisor is.
Top ten reasons why God never received tenure:
You are probably familiar with the following, based on a column in Ann Landers:
- He never got a Ph.D.
- He had only one major publication.
- It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
- Some doubt that he wrote it Himself.
- Sure, he created the world, but what has he done since?
- The scientific community can't replicate his results.
- He rarely came to class and just tells students, "Read the book."
- His office hours are irregular and sometimes held on a mountaintop.
- He doesn't present at conferences.
- He spent too much time teaching and not enough time doing research.
Top ten reasons why He doesn't give a damn:
- He's the boss.
- His only publication is still the most influential in the field, with millions of citations a year.
- Sure He didn't write it Himself, but with 12 grad students, would you?
- Everybody says "Amen" to His opinions.
- Disagree with Him, and you may end up in hell.
- He's well known for being a hard worker: six days a week nonstop; rests only on the 7th.
- Nobody can beat His 4.5 billion years of field work and 3.5 billion years of DNA expertise.
- Most agree He was the first one to be awarded a Nobel prize. Nobel himself.
- His research facilities are simply the best: Even well funded scientists will admit they work in conditions which are "far from Heaven" when asked.
- He doesn't depend on NSF money.
This next list is rather obviously not from Ann Landers:
- It was in Hebrew.
- It had no references.
- Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.
- It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
- His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
- The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
- He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
- When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects.
- When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
- He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
- Some say he had his son teach the class.
- He expelled his first two students for learning.
- Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests.
- His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.
- No record of working well with colleagues.
This is a compilation of actual (ALLEGED) student bloopers collected by teachers. Grad students who TA will probably NOT be surprised by any of them.
- Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
- The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"
- Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
- Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
- The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
- Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
- Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
- In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.
- Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.
- Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."
- Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
- Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
- In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.
- Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.
- Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."
- It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
- The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
- Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
- During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina , the Pinta , and the Santa Fe . Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim's Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no loner had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead. Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.
- Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.
- Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy.
- Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.
- Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.
- Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
- The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't have any children.
- The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West.
- Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.
- The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.
- Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.
- The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.
GET GRADUATE SCHOOL BARBIE (TM)
Graduate School Barbie comes in two forms: Delusional Master's Barbie (tm) and Ph.D. Masochist Barbie (tm).
Every Graduate School Barbie comes with these fun filled features guaranteed to delight and entertain for hours: Grad School Barbie comes out of the box with a big grin on her face that turns into a frown after 2 weeks or her first advisor meeting (whichever comes first). She also has adorable black circles under her delightfully bloodshot eyes.
Comes with two outfits: a grubby pair of blue jeans and 5 year old gap T-shirt, and a floppy pair of gray sweatpants with a matching "Go S***w Yourself" T-shirt. Grad School Barbie talks! Just press the button on her left hand and hear her say such upbeat grad school phrases like, "Yes, Professor, It'll be done by tomorrow", "I'd love to rewrite" and "Why didn't I just get a job, I could have been making $40,000 a year by now if I had just started working with a Bachelor's. But noooooo, Mom and Dad wanted a masters degree, I wish somebody would drop a bomb on the school so that I'd have an excuse to stop working on my degree that's sucking every last drop of life force out of my withered and degraded excuse for a soul..." (9V lithium batteries sold separately)
Grad School Barbie is anatomically correct to teach kids about the exciting changes that come with pursuing a higher education. Removable panels on Barbie's head and torso allow you to watch as her cerebellum fries to a crispy brown, her heart race 150 beats per minute, and her stomach lining gradually dissolve into nothing. Deluxe Barbie comes with specially designed eye ducts. Just add a little water, and watch Grad School Barbie burst into tears at random intervals. Fun for the whole family!
Other accessories include:
Grad School Barbie's Fun Fridge (tm) Well stocked with microwave popcorn, Coca-Cola, Healthy Choice Bologna (99% fat free!),and a small bottle of Mattel Brand Rum (tm).
Grad School Barbie's Medicine Cabinet comes in Fabulous (pepto-bismal) pink and contains Barbie sized bottles of Advil, St. Johns Wort, Zantac, and your choice of three fun anti-anxiety drugs! (Barbie Medicine Cabinet not available without a prescription).
Grad School Barbie's Computer Workstation. Comes with miniature obsolete PC (in pink of course), rickety desk, and over a dozen miniature Mountain Dew cans to decorate your workstation with (Mountain Dew deposit not included in price. Tech support sold separately).
And Grad School Barbie is not alone! Order now and you'll get two of Barbie's great friends! GRADUATE ADVISOR KEN, Barbie's mentor and advisor in her quest for knowledge, higher education and decreased self esteem.
Grad Advisor Ken (tm) comes with a supply of red pens and a permanent frown. Press the button to hear Grad Advisor Ken deliver such wisdom to Barbie as "I need an update on your progress," "I don't think you're ready to defend yet", and "This is no where near ready for publication."
Buy 3 or more dolls, and you can have Barbie's Thesis Committee! (Palm Pilot and tenure sold separately.)
REAL JOB SKIPPER, When Barbie needs to talk, she knows that she can always count on her good friend Real Job Skipper (tm), who got a job after getting her bachelor degree. Press the button to hear Real Job Skipper say, "Sometimes I wish I went for my masters degree" and "Work is so hard! I had to work a half an hour of overtime!" Real Job Skipper's Work Wardrobe and Savings account sold separately.
WARNING: Do not place Grad Student Barbie and Real Job Skipper too close to each other, as there have been several cases of children leaving the room and coming back to find Barbie's hands mysteriously fused to Skipper's throat.
The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone working on a Ph.D. dissertation or academic paper anywhere!
- "It has long been known"... I didn't look up the original reference.
- "A definite trend is evident"... These data are practically meaningless.
- "While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions"... An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
- "Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study"... The other results didn't make any sense.
- "Typical results are shown"... This is the prettiest graph.
- "These results will be in a subsequent report"... I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.
- "In my experience"... once.
- "In case after case"... twice.
- "In a series of cases"... thrice.
- "It is believed that"... I think.
- "It is generally believed that"... A couple of others think so, too.
- "Correct within an order of magnitude"... Wrong.
- "According to statistical analysis"... Rumor has it.
- "A statistically oriented projection of the significance of these findings"... A wild guess.
- "A careful analysis of obtainable data"... Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of pop.
- "It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs"... I don't understand it.
- "After additional study by my colleagues"... They don't understand it either.
- "Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions"... Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.
- "A highly significant area for exploratory study"... A totally useless topic selected by my committee.
- "It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field"... I quit.
Why go through all the bother it takes to get a degree from an accredited institution?
It's nice to see that these people aim to meet the "highest academic standards":
EdD vs. PhD in Education: What’s the Difference?
Industry Advice Education
If you’re interested in pursuing a doctoral degree in education, one of the first questions you’ll face is: Should I apply for a Doctor of Education (EdD) or a Doctor of Philosophy (PhD) in Education?
The decision between these two culminating degrees can be career-defining as each serves a very different purpose despite being equivalent in level. In order to ensure you choose the path that best aligns with your future career goals, it’s important to take the time to first understand the differences in program curriculum and future career opportunities that relate to each degree.
Read on to learn about the defining qualities of an EdD and a PhD in Education, and determine which program is the right fit for you.
EdD vs. PhD in Education
A Doctor of Education (EdD) is a professional degree designed for practitioners pursuing educational leadership roles. A PhD in education , on the other hand, is designed to prepare graduates for research and teaching roles.
“With a PhD, [students are] reviewing the research, seeing a gap in the literature, and generating new knowledge based on a theory or hypothesis,” Joseph McNabb , a professor of practice in Northeastern’s Graduate School of Education , explains. “Conversely, an EdD student starts with a problem of practice and [works to learn] the skills it will take to resolve that complex problem of practice.”
What is an EdD Degree?
An EdD, or Doctor of Education , is a professional doctorate best suited for experienced educators and mid- to senior-level working professionals who want to lead and implement change within their organization.
EdD candidates work in a broad range of fields ranging from K-12 and higher education to nonprofits, government, healthcare, and the military. What each share is a desire to transform their everyday environment and apply the lessons learned through their doctorate to a complex, critical issue facing their workplace.
The EdD is practice-based. Students in an EdD program don’t want to just research their area of interest, but leverage that research in ways that could positively influence their community or organization’s decision-making process.
Learn More: 5 Tips for Choosing Your EdD Concentration
Those who pursue an EdD focus on qualitative, exploratory research. Students collect data and conduct individual interviews, observations, or focus groups to construct hypotheses and develop strategies that can help solve or clarify a specific problem of practice, such as how to support student veterans transitioning to civilian life or how to foster more female leaders in higher education—two dissertation topics recently explored through Northeastern’s EdD program .
Download Our Free Guide to Earning Your EdD
Learn how an EdD can give you the skills to enact organizational change in any industry.
What Can You Do with an EdD Degree?
While an EdD can be applied to a variety of industries—such as K-12, higher education, the nonprofit sector, or civic service—there are several job titles you’ll likely come across within your cohort of classmates. They include:
- Postsecondary Education Administrators: Postsecondary education administrators work in colleges or universities, and typically oversee faculty research, academics, admissions, or student affairs. Some job titles that fall under this category include president, vice president, provost, and dean. The average annual salary for a postsecondary education administrator rings in at $94,340 .
- Elementary and Secondary School Education Administrators: Superintendents, who are the top executives of a school district, fall under this category. They manage academic programs, spending, and the staffing of all educational facilities within their district, and typically earn an average of $98,880 per year .
- Top Executives : In education, a top executive could be a “chief learning officer” or “chief academic officer”—senior-level professionals who drive and develop strategies that help their organization meet critical business goals. Top executives make an average of approximately $104,980 per year .
- Instructional Coordinators : Instructional coordinators create and manage school curricula and other educational materials. They help teachers implement effective classroom learning strategies and measure the effectiveness of what’s being taught and how. The average annual salary for instructional coordinators is roughly $64,450 .
These are just a few of the many career opportunities available to EdD graduates.
Learn More: Top Careers with a Doctorate in Education
What is a PhD in Education?
A PhD in Education is a terminal degree best suited for individuals who want to pursue a career in academia or research at the university level.
Students in a PhD program take a more theoretical, study-based approach to learning. In most cases, their goal is to master a specific subject or add their unique findings to a body of existing literature. PhD candidates conduct original research in the hopes of driving change in their field or inspiring others to make change based off their work.
A PhD is the degree most popular amongst those who aspire to become a professor or obtain a tenure position. Through these programs, students tend to focus on getting published in well-respected journals, presenting at national conferences, and learning how to teach future educators.
What Can You Do with a PhD in Education?
While some of the above roles can also be earned through a PhD program, the most common job titles for PhD-holders include:
- Postsecondary Teachers: Postsecondary teachers instruct students at a college or university. When they’re not in the classroom, they’re often focused on conducting research, attending conferences, and publishing scholarly papers and books. Postsecondary teachers earn an average $78,470 per year .
- Academic Researcher : Researchers often have the opportunity to create their own centers or institutes, hire staff to help carry out their work, and secure funding for that work. Salaries often vary by subject area, but a general academic researcher typically earns an average $76,273 per year .
Taking the Next Step
Once you’ve explored the differences between an EdD and PhD in Education, the most relevant question to consider will be: What’s the next step I want to take in my career, and which degree can help me achieve my professional goals? The answer to this question will determine which degree you ultimately pursue.
Earning your doctorate can pay off no matter which path you choose. Professionals with a doctoral degree earn an average $3.65 million over their lifetime—nearly one million dollars more than master’s degree holders. Similarly, doctoral degree holders see an unemployment rate of only 1.5 percent compared to the national unemployment rate of 3.6 percent.
Regardless of which degree you ultimately pursue, there is enormous potential for you to advance your career in the field of education. Evaluating your needs and values will help you understand whether an EdD or PhD in Education is best suited to your personal and professional goals.
This article was originally published in July 2017. It has since been updated for accuracy and relevance.
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68 College Jokes That Prove Higher Learning Is Hilarious
You don’t have to have a college degree to find higher learning hilarious. There’s something universally relatable (and comical) about college students, dorm life, and everything else that’s wrapped up in getting an undergrad education. You’ve got your eccentric teachers . Everyone’s on a Ramen noodle diet . Students go to school in their PJs. The colleges jokes basically write themselves, don’t you think? And hey, it’s healthy to be able to laugh about it after the fact. Otherwise, your student loans might reduce you to tears.
RELATED: These College Supplies Are So Genius, You May Just Want Them For Yourself
So, if you are a college grad yourself, the following 60+ jokes and puns will probably make you look back on your college years and laugh your head off.
- How do you know that you have been in college too long?
Your parents are running out of money!
- Why did the sun skip college?
It already has a million degrees.
- What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
- If pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?
- College student: Hey, Dad — I’ve got some great news for you!
Father: What, son? College student: Remember that $500 you promised me if I made the Dean’s list? Father: I certainly do. College student: Well, you get to keep it!
- Professor: Why do pimples make horrible prisoners?
Because they keep breaking out!
- A new student at Harvard stopped an upperclassman and asked, “Where’s the library at?”
The upperclassman said, “Never end a sentence with a preposition. Cops do it on TV, but it isn’t proper, so to speak.” The new student said, “Pardon me. Where’s the library at, MORON?”
- A history professor and a psychology professor were sitting outside at a nudist colony. The history professor asked: “Have you read Marx?” The psychology professor replied: “Yes. I think it’s from the wicker chairs.”
- What do you call hiking U.S. college students?
The walking debt.
- My local college has a program that lets students earn their tuition by working in the on-campus bakery.
The opportunity isn’t open to everyone. It’s run on a strictly knead-to-know basis.
- I think college athletes should get paid to play sports .
Except Tennessee. They’re Volunteers.
- When I told my family I graduated from clown college…
They all laughed at me.
- Employer: Forget everything you learned in college. You won’t need it working here.
Potential employee: I never went to college. Employer: Oh, sorry. Unfortunately, you’re not qualified to work here.
- Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans.
The first says, “I’m planning on going into farming. It’s what my father did and it makes good money.” The second asks, “What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?” “I don’t know, man; there are so many fields to choose from,” the third responds.
- A buddy of mine went to college, majored in veterinary medicine, and minored in taxidermy. “Either way you’re getting your dog back,” he says.
- What is a Gen Z’ers favorite college?
- What do you call a test tube with a college degree?
A graduated cylinder.
- My wife was disappointed to find out the real reason why my nickname in college was “The Love Machine.”
It’s because I sucked at tennis.
- In college, I was so broke I couldn’t pay the electricity bill.
Those were the darkest days of my life.
- My old girlfriend wanted me to do her college algebra homework for her.
But frankly, I didn’t want to solve for ex.
- A college professor was very worried about his recent study on earthquakes.
It turns out his findings were on shaky ground.
- My dad told me that colleges are cracking down on ghost-written essays?
I asked, “What about mummy-written essays?”
- Why did the music note drop out of college?
Because it couldn’t pick a major.
- What did Chuck Norris tell his father when he left for college?
“You’re the man of the house now.”
- The dean of a college told the auditorium, “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?” At this, a student in the crowd raised their hand and asked, “Er… how much for a season pass?”
- How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb ?
Only one, but it may take them more than five years to do it.
- An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school . “Tell me,” inquired the interviewer, “where do you expect to be ten years from now?”
“Well, let’s see,” replied the student. “It’s Wednesday afternoon. I guess I’ll be on the golf course by now.”
- All the fraternity brothers left the house for a long weekend except for Grady, who decided to stay behind and get some studying done. One night Grady heard a noise under his bed. Fearing it might be a burglar, he leaned over and whispered, “Anybody there?”
“No,” said the burglar. “That’s funny,” the boy said to himself. “I could have sworn I heard a noise!”
- A young man was putting himself through college as a waiter. When he gave one diner the bill, the diner asked, “What is the usual tip?”
“Well, this is my first day here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great,” the college student replied. “Is that so?” snorted the diner. “Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s five dollars.” “Thanks!” replied the student. “I’ll put this in my school fund.” “What are you studying?” asked the diner. The student smiled and said, “Applied psychology.”
- A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination. On the paper, there was a single line that simply said, “Is this a question? — Discuss.”
After a short time, he wrote, “If that is a question, then this is an answer.” The student received an “A” on the exam.
- One day a college professor, after getting irritated in his college class, stands up in front of the class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot and, if there is one, then they should stand up.
After a minute, a young man stands up. The professor then asks that guy if he actually thinks he is an idiot. The boy replied, “No, I just didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself.”
- What is the definition of an optimist?
A college student who opens his wallet and expects to find money.
- A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day.
“In English, a double negative forms a positive,” he said. “In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language where a double positive can form a negative.” A voice from the back of the room said, “Yeah, right.”
- How did the fraternity brother get a bump on his head?
He was attempting a keg stand.
- A professor has a classroom filled with students about to take a philosophy finale. The only question on the test is, “Why?” All of the students begin to write feverishly. One student, however, writes, “Why not?” and leaves. The professor instantly give him an “A.”
- What is the best way to save money during college?
Use Happy Hour as your main dining option.
- Two parents were talking one day and asked the other what their son was taking in college. The one replied, “He’s taking every penny I have!”
- Astronomy professor: What causes a half-moon?
College student: When you can’t get your jeans over your thighs.
- What’s the difference between an American student and an English student?
About 3,000 miles.
- What do you get if you cross a student and an alien?
Something from another universe-ity.
- Chemistry professor: Now, class, here I have a beaker of H2SO4, and here I have a gold ring. Suppose I drop the ring into the sulphuric acid. Will the gold dissolve?
Student: No. Professor: Good. And will you please tell us why not? Student: If it would dissolve, you wouldn’t put it in.
- In a way, colleges and insane asylums are both mental institutions. The major difference being you have to show some improvement to “graduate” an asylum.
- A student comes back to the dorm & finds his roommate near tears.
“What’s the matter, pal?” he asked. “I wrote home for my parents to send money so that I could buy a laptop, and they sent me the laptop,” he moaned.
- A father, passing through the son’s college town late one night on a business trip, thought he would pay a surprise visit to the boy. Arriving at the fraternity house, he knocked on the door. After several minutes of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second-floor window.
“Whattya want?” “Does Jimmy Duncan live here?” asked the father. “Yeah!” replied the voice. “Dump him on the front porch and we’ll take care of him in the morning.”
- “How’s your song doing? Is he one of the bright young men in this area that is going to college on a scholarship?”
“No. He’s going to college on a second mortgage.”
- A woman called the dean of the college that her freshman son was going to.
“I’m worried. I don’t know who my son can hang out with. He doesn’t have the kind of money all the other students have.” The dean replied, “Well then, he can hang out with the faculty.”
- What did the music thief do in college?
- What do you call a hotdog in college?
- What do cats major in college?
50. How many fraternity brothers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That’s what pledges are for.
51. I want to reenact a scene from Fifty Shades of Grey . You know the one where she gets a job straight out of college?
52. High school graduates: You’ve just sat in a chair for 4 years. How would you like to do that again, but this time you pay for it?
53. When I was in college, my roommate used to clean my room and I used to clean hers.
We were maid for each other.
54. What form of art is very popular among college kids?
55. My college roommate was obsessed with trying to discover the largest known prime number.
I wonder what he’s up to now.
56. In college, I lived on a houseboat and started seeing the girl next door.
Eventually, we drifted apart.
57. Thank you, student loans, for getting me through college.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you.
58. I can’t remember what I majored in at college.
I skipped classes to some degree.
59. In 2020, I’m finally making use of my college degree. What was it?
60. I was so broke in college that I sometimes had to choose between laundry detergent and breakfast.
It was All or muffin.
61. Why do sorority girls walk in groups of three or five?
Because they ‘can’t even!
62. As a college girl, I never understood the whole Sorority thing
It’s all Greek to me.
63. I decided to surprise my parents by visiting from college unannounced — only to find out they’d taken a vacation and not left the keys behind. Not a problem, though, all I have to do is talk to the door lock.
They always told me “communication is the key.”
64. My college roommate was obsessed with trying to discover the largest known prime number.
I wonder what he is up to now.
65. What did the buffalo say when his kid left for college
66. I’ve been friends with a small group of fellow chemistry majors since college.
I guess you could say we developed strong bonds.
67. Why do encyclopedias make such bad neighbors?
They have so many volumes.
68. What did the fashion design student have to do when she missed her final exam?
Take a makeup exam.
This article was originally published on November 19, 2019
What Does Phd Stand For Joke
December 20, 2022
October 9, 2022
A PhD, or Doctor of Philosophy, is a degree earned after completing advanced coursework and research in a chosen field of study. PhD holders are often experts in their field, and their research and writing skills are highly respected. “What does PhD stand for?” is a common joke among those who have not earned a doctorate. The joke typically points out the long, difficult process of completing a PhD program, and how the degree holder’s knowledge and expertise are often not fully appreciated.
When I was a PhD student, I came across an Economist article titled “The disposable academic.” I was enraged. I have come to believe that the PhD is more of a spicy meal recently. It is depressing to think that a PhD candidate ‘s salary is less than that of a lab technician’s salary. Professors should be paid half what PhD students are paid, according to an economist named Richard Branson. Natural scientists who hold tenure move out of the lab and into an office to supervise their work. The same political and managerial skills must be instilled in students in order to retain tenure, rather than science.
The current funding and resource shortage has some proponents of competition optimistic. In such cases, the defense of job insecurity as a motivator of scientific advancement is unethical. In science, there is more value in a harmonious coexistence of its members than in ruthless competition.
PHD stands for rank abahr. Meaning PHD Pull Him/Her Down (Internet slang) PHDDPraising Him DailyPlumbing Hardware Dispatcher (Google TiSP spoof)PhDPiled High in Debt18 more rows
What Are The 2 Meanings Of Phd?
The degree is known as the philosophiae doctor degree after the Latin term, and the philosophy part of the name derives from the Greek word philosopher, which means “love of wisdom.” Ph.D. is the highest degree obtained through graduate study after completing at least three years of graduate work and writing a thesis.
To become a PhD, candidates must demonstrate the ability to use research skills to generate new knowledge that can be used to advance research and theory in their field. It is also critical for them to be able to evaluate the findings and theories in a field in order to determine if further research is required. The level of your PhD is determined by the field of study in which you pursue it. A PhD in the humanities or social sciences differs from a PhD in the sciences in that it necessitates a broader set of research skills. In general, a PhD in the sciences will be more focused on research and will require more coursework and research projects than a PhD in humanities or social sciences. A PhD is distinguished from a professional doctorate by the fact that the possessor of a PhD has demonstrated the ability to use research skills to generate original knowledge that contributes to the field of study being studied, as well as by the fact that the possessor of a professional doctorate has demonstrated the ability A PhD degree is an important academic qualification, and it can be an advantage to obtain one. It will provide a level of understanding and expertise that will be difficult to obtain with a professional doctorate. A PhD can lead to a career in the fields of research and development or academia.
What Does Phd Mean In Text?
Dr Philophy is the most common definition of PHD on Snapchat, WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok. A person who is known as Philosphy is a doctor.
Is It Correct To Say Someone Is A Phd?
In English, a PhD can be written with or without a period; both are correct. A trend is now developing in which periods are abbreviated for academic degrees .
What is the difference between a PhD and a Dr.? Because the doctorate is a classification of degrees, each one has its own set of qualifications. The name implies that a PhD student does not spend the entire college year studying philosophy. A significant emphasis is placed on scientific research as well as the development of new knowledge that can be applied to your field. What is the difference between an applied PhD and a PhD? The answer can be found in the program’s outcomes, once again. When compared to a PhD degree, which is more academic and focuses on research, a doctorate degree in application is intended to be studied both conceptually and practically.
The number of doctoral degree holders has more than doubled since 2000, according to a 2019 study. Why do people pursue a PhD as a career if they don’t have any life experience? Their passion for their chosen profession and lifelong learning combine to make them extremely passionate about it. In most states, the process for obtaining an online degree does not result in the issuance of a teaching license.
In the United States, only the Ph.D. degree confers the highest academic equivalency. After three or more years of graduate study, the Ph.D. program concludes with the submission of a research dissertation, presentation, and defense of the thesis. The D. is the most prestigious academic achievement in the United States and a symbol of prestige and power. In a professional resume or CV, you should include the phrase “D.”
How To Address Someone With A Phd
Universities offer degrees to students who complete doctoral programs in specific fields of study after completing these programs. The average doctoral program takes four years to complete. Although there are various ways to say someone is a PhD, the choice is entirely up to the person and their preferences. For example, some people will say Dr. Last Name, while others will say Dr. Last Name, Ph.D.
Phd Meaning Slang
Pull him/her down is Internet slang for a PhD.
A PhD degree can be obtained by studying philosophy, obtaining a doctorate title , or ranking as a doctor of philosophy in the medical profession. The first practical application of PhD took place in 1839. The Watson School of Biological Sciences received the first 14 PhDs in June 2004. The dictionary company Merriam-Webster has declared today’s Word of the Day to be grandiose. Take our 10-question visual vocabulary challenge to see how well you can memorize it. Will you outdo the National Spelling Bee winners? What are you wearing today?
Roll up your sleeves and look for your garments. Take a test and then pass it. Take the Name That Thing Quiz to find out what that thing is. Public places are considered to be filthy. Emily Brewster describes the difference between lying and laying.
It makes a person feel good to be a doctor fellow, and there are numerous reasons why you choose to be one. A course of study in a specific field may benefit a student. You may wish to concentrate on a specific field. A doctor fellow’s status as an academic achievement can be attributed to a variety of factors, but it is especially rewarding to do so. In the field of medicine, fellowships are becoming increasingly important. As the population ages, specialists in a variety of fields are in high demand. Doctors who are awarded fellowships have the training and experience required to become specialists. Fellowships are available to physicians in order for them to gain additional training in a specific field of medicine. If physicians take this additional training, it is possible that they will become specialists in their field of study. Physician fellowships, in addition to allowing physicians to develop a new perspective on medicine, also provide them with access to high-quality education. A doctor fellow’s responsibilities include conducting research and writing papers. fellowships are the training and experience required by physicians to become specialists in their chosen fields. The fellowship program allows physicians to gain a unique perspective on medicine.
What Does A Phd Mean Snapchat?
The most commonly used definition for PHD is Doctor of Philosphy on Snapchat, WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok.
What Does The P In Phd Stand For?
A PhD is the academic degree, title, or rank of the doctor of philosophy who receives it.
An acronym is an abbreviation that is pronounced as a word. The word “acronym” is made up of the Greek prefix “acro-,” meaning “extreme or sharp,” and the suffix “-onym,” meaning “name.” An acronym is different from an initialism, which is an abbreviation pronounced one letter at a time. The word “NASA” is an acronym, but the word “FBI” is an initialism.
Is Phd Acronym Or Initialism?
It is an acronym that stands for “Defining Philosophiae Doctor (doctor of philosophy) is an abbreviation for a doctor of philosophy.
What Is Correct Phd Or Phd?
The PhD can be written with or without a period; both are correct. A trend is being observed in the field of academic abbreviation. Many sources, including the Canadian Oxford Dictionary, still recommend using periods, including Ph.D.
What Does Each Letter In Phd Stand For?
A PhD degree is awarded to researchers who have completed advanced research. Philosophy is one of the three fields that make up a PhD.
Phd Meaning Not Degree
The PhD is widely regarded as one of the most prestigious academic degrees , and it can be obtained with a wide range of degrees. Many countries do not require a doctorate degree in philosophy, and students can pursue a PhD in a variety of fields.
The PhD degree is not always the result of a philosophy degree in the majority of countries. Students can obtain a Doctor of Philosophy in a variety of fields depending on their interests. The average student has a degree in five or six years. To be admitted to a PhD program, applicants must meet high standards due to the mentorship system. The early stages of a PhD program are designed to aid the student’s understanding of the academic field. Students are expected to devote significant amounts of time to their dissertations after the third year. The way PhD programs are designed is changing as a result of the advancement of technology. Many online degree programs allow students to complete the program via the internet.
What Is A Phd?
A PhD is also known as an Doctor of Philosophy, and the abbreviation PhD stands for Doctor of Philosophy. A PhD can only be obtained by students who attend graduate school and continue their studies after earning a master’s degree. The letters PhD have the same meaning as the Latin phrase philosophie doctor or doctor of philosophy. Graduate students in philosophy are referred to as graduate students.
Phd Meaning In Education
For students, a PhD is the most academically demanding degree available. The term “Doctor of Philosophy” refers to the massive amount of knowledge gained as a student progresses through the program.
A PhD is a postgraduate academic degree that is awarded by universities and higher education institutions around the world. For a PhD, the student usually devotes three to four years of full-time study to writing an original thesis or dissertation. In some universities, you can also pursue a ‘fast-track’ degree program by pursuing your master’s degree instead of a PhD. Admission requirements may be based on funding you will receive, and you may be able to apply with lower grades if you self-fund your PhD. Personal statements are frequently requested by colleges and universities, and you can demonstrate your passion for a specific subject by writing an essay of no more than 500 words. In your proposal, you should include details about your reasons for applying for a PhD, your personal motivations for doing so, and any extracurricular activities that are relevant or should be highlighted. If you do not have the necessary qualifications or the appropriate degree, you may be able to pursue a PhD program. To be eligible to apply for a scholarship, students may need to do additional study or pass a qualifying examination. In addition, you may wish to consider applying for an MPhil degree or pursuing a general research degree.
When your registration is complete, you should be given official notification of your supervisor(s). Your research topic or field of study that you have been accepted for. The minimum time it takes for you to complete a thesis is set forth below. It is also common for colleges and universities to provide a comprehensive list of facilities and provisions. To be awarded the title of Doctor of Dental Medicine (JD) or Doctor of Medical Specialties (US/Canada), a student must complete a specified academic research component. Many research degrees, such as the MD, conduct scholarly research that is published in peer-reviewed journals. They are, in some countries, regarded as equivalent to PhDs because of their similarity in terms of scientific skills.
Is A Phd In Education Called A Doctor?
A Doctor of Education (EdD) is a degree that focuses on professional development for teachers who want to work in educational leadership roles. A PhD in education, on the other hand, prepares students to conduct research and teach.
A Phd In Education: Your Next Step
A PhD in education, on the other hand, is the right degree for those who want to make a real difference in the lives of students while also teaching. You will learn about your field, become an excellent teacher, and be able to advance your career by taking on leadership roles as a result of completing a PhD in education. So regardless of whether you are preparing for your Ed.D. exams or already have your diploma, earning a PhD in education is the next logical step in your education career.
Is A Phd And A Doctorate The Same?
Is a doctorate higher than a degree in law? A PhD is not considered an additional degree than an MD. Whether you are wondering why PhDs are better than professional doctorates , both degrees are the highest level of college education available. A doctorate degree is the highest level of study that can be obtained.
The Benefits Of A Doctor Of Education
It is technically possible to obtain a Doctor of Education degree. It is more expensive and can necessitate you studying more than one area of expertise in addition to the dissertation – extra credits, extra study, and so on. Highly qualified professionals who want to improve their skills and increase their educational opportunities can apply for doctoral programs. Higher education provides more opportunities for advancement and professional growth than an undergraduate degree. There are numerous career opportunities available if you pursue a doctorate degree, as you will gain knowledge and skills that will be useful in a variety of fields. They are the most effective way to reach your professional goals.
How Long Is Phd In Education?
A Ph.D. in education is typically completed in four years, whereas an EdD is typically completed in two years.
Not All Phd Programs Require A Master’s Degree
While it is acceptable for universities to require a Master’s degree in order to participate fully in a PhD program, some may do so in the absence of a Master’s degree. The Master’s degree program may allow you to improve your research skills and broaden your knowledge in these cases. There are a variety of PhD programs that do not require a Master’s degree. Some PhD programs will admit applicants with only a Bachelor’s degree. If you’re worried that your undergraduate degree isn’t strong enough, you should speak with the program you’re interested in to learn more about their admission requirements.
What Is A Phd Vs Masters?
Master’s and doctoral degrees are two of the most common graduate degree programs. A master’s degree can prepare you for a variety of careers and takes between two and two and a half years to complete. A doctoral degree (also known as a PhD) typically takes three to seven years to complete (depending on the country), and it provides you with the knowledge and skills you need to pursue a career in academic research.
Differences Between Phd And Masters Programs
Many PhD programs also have higher research requirements than many Masters programs . Most Masters programs accept both original and revised master’s thesis proposals. Most PhD programs do not allow for the revision of a thesis made by another student. In terms of grading scales, graduate programs typically give you a lower grade for a poor paper than doctoral programs, while PhD programs give you a lower grade for a poor thesis. Finally, PhD programs are frequently filled with more classes per semester than Masters programs.
What Does Phd Stand For Sexually
Some viewers thought it might mean ‘hard d*ck,’ but the slang expression is actually ‘quite heavy d*ck.’
The MA program is abbreviated as the Master of Arts in Arts (MA). A master’s degree can be obtained in a variety of fields, including arts, science, and business administration. In the United States, it is not required to have a master’s degree in order to pursue a PhD. Anyone can use the term doctor or neurologist as long as they are under the age of 18. It is not necessary for a Chiropractor to have a medical degree to practice medicine. A physician is the same person as a veterinarian, whether that person is a doctor or a dentist. While veterinarians may not make as much money as doctors, their work is equally rewarding.
There are many different types of PhD students, but they all share a few common characteristics. They are all passionate about their chosen field of study, and they are all committed to pursuing their research to the highest level possible. They are also usually highly intelligent and hard-working, and they have the ability to think critically and independently. PhD students are typically very driven and motivated, and they are always looking for new ways to improve their research and their understanding of their chosen field.
PhDs are typically completed on a part-time basis, so the vast majority of PhD students are enrolled full-time. An MPhil or a Masters by Research are typically required for most PhD students in order to prepare for their PhD. In 2022, we’re giving away x15 Postgrad Solutions Bursaries, and you could be one of them. A PhD is a research degree, and the vast majority of students pursuing one have already completed some form of research. Their PhD supervisor is in charge of overseeing the research, which can range from scientific, sociological, archaeological, medical, or historical studies. A large number of PhD students supplement their income through teaching or assisting. The student may choose a research topic and consult with a PhD supervisor before embarking on the project. They may apply for one of the many advertised research positions as well. There are numerous sources of funding for PhDs, including government funding, grants, and scholarships. We are pleased to announce the launch of our new Postgrad Solutions Study Bursaries.
Phd Students Vs. Phd Candidates: What’s The Difference?
It can be difficult for an undergraduate or graduate student to adjust to their daily routine as a PhD student. You will have much more independence and a much smaller amount of “taught” elements. A typical week will most likely include the same amount of time devoted to PhD study as a full-time job. What is the difference between an M.Phil. and a PhD student? To be eligible to apply for a PhD, candidates must complete their research and submit a thesis. A PhD student, in other words, is still working on their degree. What does one do for a PhD? What is a phd? What do you study? A PhD is an abbreviation for a doctor of philosophy, and a doctorate is a Latin abbreviation for a doctor of philosophy. Students typically conduct independent and significant research in a specific field or subject in order to create a research-based, publication-worthy thesis as part of a PhD degree program .
Honorary Doctorates: What they ARE and what they ARE NOT
The REAL purpose of an honorary doctorate
Universities bestow honorary doctorates on people who make major monetary gifts to the universities. There's no "merit" involved. Pay to play.
Ikeda's "honorary degrees" are a joke. Ikeda is a joke. Nobody takes him seriously. No, Ikeda did not invent democracy, dialogue and modern science.
It's bad form to use that title "Dr." without having EARNED a doctorate degree, "Dr." Ikeda :
By convention, recipients of honorary doctorates do not use the title "Dr" in general correspondence, although in formal correspondence from the university issuing the honorary degree it is normal to address the recipient by the title.
However, these specially-categorized degrees — which are technically classified as honoris causa, Latin for “for the sake of the honor” — are not “real” degrees, and as such, come with limitations. Most importantly, recipients are generally discouraged from referring to themselves as “doctor,” and awarding universities will often make this clear on their websites with some variation of the following phrase: "Honorary graduates may use the approved post-nominal letters. It is not customary, however, for recipients of an honorary doctorate to adopt the prefix 'Dr.'”
Yeah it is a cheap shot and makes you look like an idiot who paid off universities for the title. Much like calling yourself a sanitation engineer when in reality you are nothing but a trashman collector.
Ikeda's FIRST Honorary Doctorate - quid pro quo
Let's have a look at the institutions that sold Ikeda honorary degrees, shall we?
But those honorary degrees are a absurd joke. There is not one from Japan, they won't touch him.
That tells you all you need to know.
Interesting video of Ikeda - the Soka Gakkai flew a bunch of administrators from some university in Malaysia over to Tokyo so they could conduct an honorary doctorate bestowal ceremony for Ikeda
YOU can order an honorary doctorate! And it's WAY cheaper than I thought!
More information on honorary degrees - they can be rescinded if the recipient is enough of an embarrassment
About religious leaders who use unearned (bought) doctorates to promote themselves as "world's foremost authority"
Cult leader hobbies: Collecting honorary degrees, "Official [insert name here] Day"s, "Peace Prizes". And being a self-published writer!!
From Cult of Curiosity :
UW-Milwaukee chancellor Carlos Santiago’s courting of wealthy philanthropists took a bizarre turn last April when he flew to Tokyo to award an honorary degree to controversial religious leader Daisaku Ikeda. Even more curious, Ikeda’s group paid the expenses for the five-day trip to Japan by Santiago, UW-System Regent Tom Loftus and two other university representatives.
Ikeda, 79, is the son of a poor seaweed seller who rose to become leader of Soka Gakkai, a lay Buddhist organization with some 12 million followers and estimated assets of $125 billion. Ikeda styles himself as a humanist and peace broker, and devotees consider him a modern-day Buddha. But Rick Ross, who runs a New Jersey-based institute that studies cults, considers the group a cult with a totalitarian structure. “It’s personality driven,” Ross says, “and Ikeda is the personality.”
Soka Gakkai has 8 million members in Japan and about 500,000 in the United States. The group has founded elementary and high schools in Japan. It also opened a university, which is where Santiago honored Ikeda.
Author and prominent Buddhist scholar Laurence O. McKinney says Ikeda “has no reputation as a theological leader,” but has used contributions to buy approval and prestigious connections. McKinney notes that when Harvard refused to provide Ikeda a speaking venue, he rented a basement room at Harvard, and the Soka Gakkai-funded Boston Research Center for the 21st Century billed his talk as a historic “lecture at Harvard.”
Santiago declined several interview requests. Randy Ryder, secretary of the university, said a faculty committee made the recommendation for a degree and Santiago approved it. “We Googled. We didn’t see anything [negative on Ikeda],” Ryder says. Ryder also says Ikeda was not physically up to traveling to Milwaukee, so his group paid the travel expenses for UWM officials.
Doing the math, this is from 2007. Three years before the Soka Gakkai put Ikeda under wraps. "Not physically up to traveling"? Or too erratic and unpredictable to risk taking him out of his familiar surroundings?
We look forward to “a fruitful relationship of cooperation and exchange,” a delighted Ikeda wrote in a letter to Santiago. Broadcasting that new fruitfulness was Soka Gakkai’s newspaper, whose 6 million readers saw a photo splashed across its front page, a grinning Santiago dishing out the honorary degree. Source
SGI Colonizing Universities
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What’s really behind the flap over jill biden’s doctorate.
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It's unfair to attack Jill Biden for using the honorific "Dr.," but there is reason to criticize the ... [+] field of education for a general lack of attention to science. (Photo by DNCC via Getty Images) (Photo by Handout/DNCC via Getty Images)
Criticism of Jill Biden for using the honorific “Dr.” has been snide and unfair, but it isn’t just misogyny. It also reflects longstanding disdain for the discipline in which Biden earned her doctorate: education.
A recent op-ed in the Wall Street Journal took the prospective first lady to task for preferring to be addressed as “Dr.” The op-ed has been roundly criticized , primarily for being—as one letter to the editor with 330 signatures put it—“outrageously sexist.”
To be sure, the op-ed was patronizing in a way that makes it hard to imagine it having been written about a man. The author, Joseph Epstein—an 83-year-old who has long reveled in political incorrectness, including swipes at feminism—addressed Biden as “kiddo.” It’s unlikely he would have used that term in connection with, say, future “second gentleman” Doug Emhoff . But the overall thrust of the piece was not so much anti-female as anti what Epstein sees as academic pretentiousness.
According to Epstein, only medical doctors should be addressed as “Dr.” (He’s not alone: standard AP Style urges caution about using “Dr.” for those with non-medical doctorates, to avoid confusion.) Maybe things were different in the old days, Epstein writes, when oral exams were so rigorous that “a secretary sat outside the room” with “a pitcher of water and a glass” in case the doctoral candidate fainted. Even now, he suggests, people with doctorates in the hard sciences—physics, chemistry, and the like—are entitled to use “Dr.,” but not those in the humanities and social sciences. And he notes that Biden’s doctorate is merely an Ed.D—a doctorate in education, not a Ph.D.—obtained via a dissertation with what he calls an “unpromising” title: “Student Retention at the Community College: Meeting Students’ Needs.”
Given the high dropout rate in community colleges, it’s not clear why such a title is “unpromising.” More likely, Epstein assumed that Biden’s research was lacking in rigor. That assumption has been made explicit—and nastier—by right-wing commentators. One has called the Ed.D. “something of a joke in the academic world,” and a degree that “only deeply unimpressive people feel confers the honorific of ‘Doctor.’” They have combed Biden’s dissertation for typos and errors, declaring it “barely fit for a middle-school Social Studies classroom” and of a quality that “wouldn’t be tolerated in a high-school paper.”
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These attacks are hugely unfair. Biden’s dissertation is 137 pages long, with 80 pages of text plus references and appendices. It’s based not only on her reading of academic sources but also on surveys she designed and administered to community college students, faculty, and guidance counselors and interviews she conducted. It has some sound, specific recommendations—for example, to teach writing in all classes, not just English. Yes, there are typos and a few infelicitous phrases, but compared to a lot of academic writing, it’s admirably clear.
At the same time, the dissertation—also referred to as an “executive position paper”—is not particularly scientific. It doesn’t present a hypothesis that can be proven or disproven, it wasn’t designed in a way that makes it possible for others to test out its conclusions by replicating it, and it certainly wasn’t a randomized controlled trial —an experiment in which one group is given a “treatment” (e.g., writing instruction in all classes) that another similar group didn’t get.
But that’s not an argument against the validity of Biden’s research in particular. It reflects a general difference between standards for research in education and those found in other fields—including some of the “softer” sciences like psychology—that adhere to what is called the scientific method .
Research in education has generally differed from that in other academic areas, partly because many professors of education have valued ideology as much as evidence—or sometimes more. Professors of education have been heard to dismiss the mountain of evidence in support of teaching phonics as “your science, not my science,” as though science were a belief system.
It doesn’t help that schools of education are largely cut off from —and often scorned by —the rest of academia. In recent decades, there have been significant advances in the science of learning, but prospective teachers don’t become acquainted with them during their training. Research professors at schools of education may be familiar with those findings, but the instructors who train teachers are generally unaware of them —and certainly aren’t incorporating them into their research.
There’s surely a place for the kind of research reflected in Biden’s dissertation—case studies rather than large-scale experiments—but it’s distressing that education research, and teacher training in general, isn’t more grounded in science. If it were, it could make K-12 teachers’ jobs a lot easier—and Biden’s job as a community college English instructor easier as well.
One of the recurring themes in Biden’s dissertation is that students arrive in college unprepared for college-level work. In addition to devoting more attention to writing, she calls for a “study skills program” that might focus on things like test-taking and “finding the main idea.” But one reason so many college students arrive unprepared is the assumption in K-12 schools that these kinds of “skills” are what education should prioritize over specific knowledge. Relying on their training, teachers are likely to believe that teachers should avoid explicit instruction as much as possible, and that there’s no point in ensuring students learn facts when they can just Google them. Both of these assumptions are contradicted by scientific evidence .
Rather than being derided for claiming an honorific she spent 15 years earning, Jill Biden should be celebrated for her dedication to some of our neediest students. She should be applauded for returning to teaching English at Northern Virginia Community College even after she becomes first lady. And instead of wasting any more energy debating whether she should be addressed as “Dr.,” let’s focus on what we can do to make teaching easier for teachers like her—and learning easier for students.
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Jay Leno jokes he has a 'brand new face' during appearance on the Kelly Clarkson Show... after suffering third degree burns in garage fire: 'It was pretty bad'
By Sarah Sotoodeh and Adam Levy For Dailymail.com 23:16 01 Mar 2023, updated 23:35 01 Mar 2023
Jay Leno joked that he has a brand new face during his Wednesday appearance on The Kelly Clarkson show.
The star's face caught on fire on November 12, 2022 during an accident with his 1907 White Steam Car, leading to third degree burns.
The star, 72, got a standing ovation from the audience as Kelly spoke out about how he missed his last scheduled appearance because of his accident.
Kelly told him 'You look great though' to which he joked, 'This is a brand-new face.'
'It is, it's unbelievable,' before he joked: 'What happened, I was working on a car and I got a full face of gasoline and it caught fire. And I had been eating a flaming hot Dorito and when I bit into it, it set my face on...'
'It was interesting. It was all third-degree burns, it was pretty bad. It was pretty bad,' he said after.
He was working on the classic ride with his friend Dave Killackey and Jay told his friend to blow air through a fuel line because it sounded clogged.
Jay ended up getting hit in the face with gas, and then his face caught on fire after the pilot light jumped, causing him to get third degree burns.
During a December appearance on the NBC News ' Today, he recalled what happened.
'You can't tell at all. No, you think there'd be a zipper here or something. No, this is like a brand new face,' he joked.
Adding: 'Only for the second time in my career am I the new face of comedy.'
He also joked that he had a 'brand-new ear.'
Leno said Killackey was fast to his aid in the critical moments.
'I said to my friend, I said, "Dave, I'm on fire,"' he said. 'And then, "Oh, my God." Dave, my friend, pulled me out and jumped on top of me and kind of smothered the fire.'
The star was treated for third-degree burns at Grossman Burn Center in West Hills, California in the wake of the incident, remaining at the facility for 10 days amid his recovery.
The comedy icon had 'relatively serious' burns to 'approximately 7 percent of his body,' spanning his face, chest and hands, the director of the medical facility, Dr. Peter Grossman, told NBC News in November.
Grossman said that 'human cadaver skin' was used for temporary skin grafts to aid Leno's healing, and that he will likely have to undergo surgery in the future to treat the injuries.
Grossman said that Leno has 'very high pain threshold,' describing him as 'very gracious,' 'very friendly' and 'very stoic individual [who's] just not one who wants to complain.'
Leno issued a statement November 14, telling his fans, 'I got some serious burns from a gasoline fire. I am OK. Just need a week or two to get back on my feet.'
After his release from the medical facility November 21, Leno was back onstage performing November 27 at the Comedy and Magic Club in Hermosa Beach, California, where he's had a running Sunday set since 1978.
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Jay leno jokes he has a 'brand new face' during appearance on the kelly clarkson show, most read news.
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Phd Jokes With all my high level degrees and PHD's, I stumbled upon these questions......... 1. If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous? 2. Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C? 3. Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned? 4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U?
A group of crows were receiving their PhDs at their college's commencement ceremony when the police showed up. They were all arrested for third-degree murder. 👍︎ 7 💬︎ 0 comment 👤︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy 📅︎ Sep 26 2019 🚨︎ report 11 years ago my mother decided to go back and finish school. She earned her bachelors, masters, and just got her PhD.
There are also phd puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. Why God never got a PhD 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6.
To the woman I met in the bar last night who was mad at me this morning I never said I had a PhD in theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical PhD in physics. Did you hear about the prostitute with a PhD in Psychology? She'll blow your mind. A father has 4 sons in his house. 3 have a PhD, but one is a robber.
PhD Humor 107 Pins 2y B Collection by Lauren Dula Similar ideas popular now Humor School Humor Funny Engineering Humor Coding Quotes Coding Humor Computer Science Engineering Engineering Humor Computer Science Quotes Programming Humor Computer Programming Physics Humor Programing Jokes $49.99
Nerd Jokes College Professor Phd Student What Day Is It 19 Things Every Academic Will Immediately Relate To Paul Newman Humphrey Bogart Fellowship Of The Ring Lord Of The Rings Marlon Brando Viggo Mortensen Aragorn Look At You How To Look Better Artists Graduate School Humor School Jokes College Humor Dissertation Motivation School Motivation
The Best Graduation Jokes Q. What did the boy say when his mom asked him why he didn't pick up his phone at his graduation? A. I couldn't pick up because the reception was horrible. Q. What faculty member was friends with all the seniors? A. The princi-pal. Q. What do all the TV seniors wear at their graduation ceremony? A.
PHD: Pull Him/Her Down (Internet slang) PHD: Praising Him Daily: PHD: Plumbing Hardware Dispatcher (Google TiSP spoof) PhD: Piled High in Debt: PHD: Post Holiday Depression: PHD: Permanent Head Damage (slang) PHD: Player Hater Degree: PHD: Push Here Dummy (point & shoot cameras) PhD: Professional Hole Digger: PHD: Pre-Historic Dinosaur
Here is a list of the best jokes about graduation. 1. What did the boy say when his mom asked him why he didn't pick up his phone at his graduation? I couldn't pick up because the reception was horrible. 2. Why did Mary want to work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet even though she'd graduated as the class valedictorian?
A PhD is the highest possible academic degree a student can obtain. It stands for "Doctor of Philosophy," which refers to the immense knowledge a student gains when earning the degree. Students typically pursue a PhD when they're interested in an academic or research career—or if they want to take their education as far as it can go.
72 Funny Graduation Jokes - you are ready when you are ready! Julia 03/01/2023 Jokes Teenager Jokes Tags: Baseball Jokes Doctor Jokes Funny Dad Jokes Puns Lame Jokes Puns Teenager Puns Jokes. Besides these hilarious jokes about graduation, we also collected the funniest school jokes. And since we are at it, we also put together funny teacher ...
A know-it-all! But seriously, a PhD is an academic degree earned after completing extensive coursework and research in a chosen field. PhD holders are often experts in their field and are highly sought-after for their knowledge and expertise. In other words, they're pretty smart cookies. But, as these cartoons show, they're not always the ...
The graduate with a science degree asks, 'Why does it work?' The graduate with an engineering degree asks, 'How does it work?' The graduate with an accounting degree asks, 'How much will it cost?' The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks, 'Do you want fries with that?' 👍🏼 What's more useless than a Gender Studies degree? the feminist holding it
Grad Student Jokes (from jnoakes) [satire] - Shlomi Fish's Homesite This collection of graduate student jokes used to live elsewhere but is now down. It was rescued from there using the Wayback Machine. I'm not a graduate student, but I have still found it funny. Shlomi Fish's Homepage→ Humour→ By Others→ Graduate Student Humour Go to main content
PhD Jokes, Kolkata. 180,791 likes · 169 talking about this. PhD Jokes Follow us on: Facebook https://facebook.com/phdjokesofficial/ Instagram...
"With a PhD, [students are] reviewing the research, seeing a gap in the literature, and generating new knowledge based on a theory or hypothesis," Joseph McNabb, a professor of practice in Northeastern's Graduate School of Education, explains.
It's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks, "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?" "I don't know, man; there are so many fields to choose from," the third responds. A buddy of mine went to college, majored in veterinary medicine, and minored in taxidermy. "Either way you're getting your dog back," he says.
"What does PhD stand for?" is a common joke among those who have not earned a doctorate. The joke typically points out the long, difficult process of completing a PhD program, and how the degree holder's knowledge and expertise are often not fully appreciated.
Pay to play. Ikeda's "honorary degrees" are a joke. Ikeda is a joke. Nobody takes him seriously. No, Ikeda did not invent democracy, dialogue and modern science. It's bad form to use that title "Dr." without having EARNED a doctorate degree, "Dr." Ikeda: By convention, recipients of honorary doctorates do not use the title "Dr" in general ...
Phd degree jokes remarks on report preparation and writing style are given at the end. Here are three easy, enjoyable lessons that guide your students in creating . The good news is that students. Project Management in Practice. Online tutors are phd degree jokes 24x7 for your help. Free Essays on Save Tree Save Life. pearson homework answers ...
And he notes that Biden's doctorate is merely an Ed.D—a ... One has called the Ed.D. "something of a joke in the academic world," and a degree that "only deeply unimpressive people feel ...
One customized novelty certificate (8.5 x 11 inch) printed on premium certificate paper with official border. Includes embossed GOLDEN SEAL sticker on certificate. Custom produced with your own personalized information: Any joke school name, gag degree, graduate's name and any date that you want printed on the certificate.
Jay ended up getting hit in the face with gas, and then his face caught on fire after the pilot light jumped, causing him to get third degree burns. During a December appearance on the NBC News ...