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Is it unprofessional to include a humorous quote in a PG thesis?
I'm writing my final research report for a Postgraduate Diploma in Astronomy, investigating the structure of the Milky Way Galaxy. I'd love to include the quote "My God! It's full of stars! -- Cmdr Dave Bowman, 2001, A Space Odyssey " somewhere in my paper. Would that be considered inappropriate for paper at this level?
- 2 I've seen people thank the bar district in my town in dissertstions. You can do it if your committee has no objections. – Sean Roberson Oct 16, 2017 at 23:45
- Can't you include this in the epigraph? – Marra Oct 22, 2017 at 13:07
Unless your advisor and committee are strictly against it, there should be no problem with including a quote like this somewhere. Formats for theses vary, and sometimes a preface or the introductory material can be presented in a fairly conversational way. That would be a perfectly appropriate place for such a quote, as would the acknowledgements. However, I have also seen humorous or literary quotes inserted at topical points into the body of a thesis, sometimes with several of them sprinkled through the body text. In what can often be a very dry read, they may help to liven up the document.
However, as I noted in my first sentence, while this is generally fine, you don't want to do it if it will run afoul of the people responsible for grading and accepting your thesis. Sometimes readers can be unnecessarily stodgy about these sorts of things, so it would always be a good idea to check how your readers feel first.
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100 Funniest Quotes from the Past 100 Years
Your complete guide to funny quotes, clever jokes, and witty comebacks for every occasion.
Funny quotes for everybody
Whether you’re looking for funny quotes to make a point, enliven a presentation, give a toast, or just for your own amusement, you’ve come to the right place. Reader’s Digest has been collecting funny quotes since our first issue in 1922, and in honor of the magazine’s 100th anniversary , we’ve pulled together some all-time classics. Looking for even more quotes? Check out our lists of uplifting quotes, family quotes , and life is short quotes . You might also enjoy our new compendium of the best jokes ever . Have fun—and you can quote us!
Funny quotes about marriage
1. “My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” —Socrates
2. “If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.” — Aldo Cammarota
3. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell
4. “Never criticize your spouse’s faults; if it weren’t for them, your mate might have found someone better than you.” — Jay Trachman
More funny quotes about marriage
5. “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” — Phyllis Diller
6. “Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.” —Rod Stewart
7. “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” —Jim Carrey
Funny quotes about parenting
8. “Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.” —Paula Poundstone
9. “A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.” —Dave Barry
10. “Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.” —Dennis Miller
11. “When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.” — Rodney Dangerfield
More funny quotes about parenting
12. “If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.” —Reese Witherspoon
13. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” —Erma Bombeck
14. “Kids are expensive, I didn’t even realize how broke I was until last year someone stole my identity and it ruined her life.”— Kate Davis
15. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
Funny quotes about families
16. “It seems I have spent a lifetime of mouthing mechanically, ‘Say thank you. Sit up straight. Use your napkin. Close your mouth when you chew. Don’t lean back in your chair.’ Just when I finally got my husband squared away, the kids came along.” — Erma Bombeck
17. “There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.” — Jerry Seinfeld
18. “There are two classes of travel—first class and with children.”— Robert Benchley
19. “Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.” — George Burns
Funny quotes about dogs
20. “When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” —Nora Ephron
21. “A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” —Robert Benchley
22. “If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one.” — Andrew A. Rooney
23. “If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.” — Phil Pastoret
Funny quotes about cats
24. “The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.” —Doug Larson
25. “Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” —Jeff Valdez
26. “In order to maintain a well-balanced perspective, the person who has a dog to worship him should also have a cat to ignore him.” — Peterborough Examiner, Canada
27. “Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.” — Anonymous
Funny quotes about friends
28. “Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.” — Anonymous
29. “The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you.” — Rita Mae Brown
30. “The holy passion of friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.” —Mark Twain
Don’t forget to send these funny friendship quotes to your BFF for some laughs!
Funny quotes about enemies
31. “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”— Oscar Wilde
32. “ The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.” —G.K. Chesterton
33. “If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.” — George Carlin
Funny quotes about money
34. “If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
35. “Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” — Addison H. Hallock
36. “Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. It’s cheaper.” — Quentin Crisp
More funny quotes about money
37. “People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”— Joan Rivers
38. “Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” — Samuel L. Jackson
39. “Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” — Tom Snyder
Funny quotes about work
40. “Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.” — Robert Benchley
41. “I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” —Jerome K. Jerome
42. “Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
More funny quotes about work
43. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
44. “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” —Mark Twain
45. “All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.” — Steve Martin, in the film Sgt. Bilko.
Funny quotes about education
46. “A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.” — William Lowe Bryan
47. “In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.” —Fran Lebowitz
48. “True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.” — Kurt Vonnegut
Funny quotes about aging
49. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” —Lucille Ball
50. “You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.” — Billy Arthur
51. “By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” — George Burns
Speaking of aging, read some of the most notable funny last words ever spoken.
Funny quotes about gossip
52. “You can’t believe everything you hear—but you can repeat it.” —Anonymous
53 . “A gossip is a person who creates the smoke in which other people assume there’s fire.” — Dan Bennett
54. “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” —Oscar Wilde
Funny quotes about advice and criticism
55. “If you can’t be kind, at least be vague.” — Judith Martin
56. “It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.” — Malcolm Forbes
57. “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain—and most do.” — Dale Carnegie
Funny quotes about emotions
58. “People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.” — Mike Bechtle
59. “Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!” —Charlie Brown
60. “ Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it. ” — Dearborn Independent
Funny quotes about food
61. “If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?” — John Cleese
62. “Never eat more than you can lift.” — Miss Piggy
63. “When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, ‘Four. I don’t think I can eat eight.'”— Yogi Berra
Funny quotes about drink
64. “Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.” —Dave Barry
65. “I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.” — W.C. Fields
66. “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway
Funny quotes about health
67. “All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
68. “Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
69. “Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
Funny quotes about politics
70. “It is useless to try to hold a person to anything he says while he’s madly in love, drunk, or running for office.” —B. Birdsong
71. “The only time some fellows are ever seen with their wives is after they’ve been indicted.” — Kin Hubbard
72. “If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn’t have declared their independence from it.” —Stephen Colbert
Funny quotes about success
73. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it.” — W.C. Fields
74. “It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.” — Gore Vidal
75. “Thankfully, perseverance is a great substitute for talent.” — Steve Martin
Funny quotes about happiness
76. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” — Anonymous
77. “Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.” — Bo Derek
78. “One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.” — Rita Mae Brown
Funny quotes about bores
79. “A bore is the kind of man who, when you ask him how he is, he tells you.” —Channing Pollock
80. “She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.” —Jean Webster
81. “He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” —Abraham Lincoln
82. “By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.” — Don Herold
Funny quotes about egotists
83. “There but for the grace of God, goes God.” —Anonymous, commenting on the film director Orson Welles
84. “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” —Henry Clapp
85. “The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.” — Lucille S. Harper
86. “People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” —Isaac Asimov
Funny quotes about optimism and pessimism
87. “An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, ‘So far so good!'” —Anonymous
88. “The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.” —George Will
89. “The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.” — James Branch Cabell
Funny quotes about intelligence
90. “I’m not offended by blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…and I also know that I’m not blonde.” —Dolly Parton
91. “We use 10% of our brains. Imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other 60%.” — Ellen DeGeneres
92. “My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger .” —Billy Connolly
93. “When it doubt, look intelligent.” —Garrison Keillor
Funny quotes about stupidity
94. “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” — Albert Einstein
95. “Think of how stupid the average person is and realize half of them are stupider than that.” — George Carlin
96. “User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.'” — Dave Barry
97. “If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?” — Will Rogers
Funny quotes about death
98. “According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that seem right? That means to the average person, if you have to go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” —Jerry Seinfeld
99. “I don’t believe in reincarnation, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.” —Shane Richie
100. “Always go to other people’s funerals; otherwise they won’t come to yours.” — Yogi Berra
Additional reporting research done by Linda Roman and Greg Daugherty
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80 Funny Quotes To Make You Smile
Written by Shutterfly Community Last Updated: Jul 29, 2021
There’s just something about getting a good laugh in that can make your day a million times better. If you’re looking for funny quotes to make you smile, to give a toast with, or to send to a loved one, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve curated the best funny quotes and sayings that cover everything from everyday life to relationships and even work! Adding that extra dose of joy and positivity with humor will put a lighthearted spin on life that shouldn’t be taken too seriously. After browsing our joyful list, share these funny quotes inside custom photo cards to brighten up someone’s day.
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Funny quotes about life, funny love quotes, funny birthday quotes, funny quotes about work, funny quotes for yearbook, funny quotes about family, funny best friend quotes.
Looking for a funny quote or saying to reflect the humor that underlies many facets of life? From life’s many lessons, struggles and joys to the always interesting realities of life, you might find the perfect words in these funny life quotes. These funny sayings about life are also the perfect little additions to any personalized photo book . Why not pair your favorite photos with unique quotes, messages, and sayings that best describe all the funny memories, milestones, and adventures in life?
- “I know I’m a handful but that’s why you got two hands.” – Unknown
- “Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.” – Truman Capote
- “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
- “Taking naps sounds so childish. I prefer to call them horizontal life pauses.” – Unknown
- “I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.” – Unknown
- “If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?” – Unknown
- “The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.” – Abraham Lincoln
- “I’m not good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Chandler (Matthew Perry), Friends
- “My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.” – Tina Fey
- “So it turns out that being an adult is really just Googling how to do stuff.” – Unknown
- “It’s okay to look at the past and the future. Just don’t stare.” – Lisa Lieberman-Wang
- “Always remember that you are unique – just like everybody else.” – Unknown
Love is messy, weird, difficult and oftentimes very funny. These funny love quotes are the most relatable thing you’ll read all day. Whether you’re looking for the perfect wedding toast and jokes, hilarious Valentine’s Day captions, or anniversary quotes that will make your partner laugh, we’ve rounded up the these funny quotes about love that are all too true. Scroll down, click and save your favorites, and copy and paste them into personalized gifts to share with all your loved ones.
- “Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” – Michael Scott, The Office
- “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” – Charles M. Schulz
- “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell
- “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner
- “If love is the answer, can you please rephrase the question?” – Lily Tomlin
- “Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby—awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.” – Lemony Snicket
- “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” – Joan Crawford
- “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin
- “I love you with all my belly. I would say my heart, but my belly is bigger.” – Unknown
- “The four most important words in any marriage—I’ll do the dishes.” – Unknown
- “I love you more than coffee but not always before coffee.” – Unkown
- “I like long romantic walks down every aisle at Target.” – Unknown
- “You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body.” – Unknown
Choosing a birthday card is just half the battle; now you have to think of something funny to write inside. Pick out one of these funny happy birthday quotes or mix and match them with your own words to craft the perfect cheers to another year older. Birthdays are meant to be full of laughter and cheer. When your loved ones open their birthday cards from you, you’ll know why they can’t stop smiling.
- “It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle.” – Unknown
- “We don’t grow old. When we cease to grow, we become old.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
- “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain
- “You’re not as young as you used to be. But you’re not as old as you’re going to be.” – Irish Saying
- “You’re in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy Birthday.” – Catherine Pulsifer
- “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” – Bob Hope
- “After 30, a body has a mind of its own.” – Bette Midler
- “You’re not forty, you’re eighteen with twenty-two years experience.” – Unknown
- “Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. And forget about the present, I didn’t get you one. Happy birthday!” – Unknown
- “Don’t get all weird about getting older! Our age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying us!” – Unknown
- “As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. Happy birthday!” – Unknown
- “To quote Shakespeare: ‘Party thine ass off!’” – Unknown
- “You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime. Happy birthday!” – Unknown
- “On your birthday, I thought of giving you the cutest gift in the world. But then I realized that is not possible because you yourself are the cutest gift in the world.” – Unknown
Our jobs are undoubtedly a vital part of our lives when we learn different things, experiment with them, and meet people. These hilarious quips and funny work quotes poke fun at the ups-and-downs of being a working professional, and are guaranteed to make any day on the job better. Add these funny inspirational work quotes to your office decor to help you find your daily grind a little more enjoyable.
- “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” – Bill Gates
- “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen
- “It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
- “Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” – Peter Drucker
- “It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower
- “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
- “I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Unknown
- “Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
- “My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” – Unknown
- “Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired.” – Michel Tournier
- “The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
- “Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
As school comes to an end and it’s time for summer, funny yearbook quotes are a great way to let loose and poke fun at your memories. These humorous school quotes would be especially great for graduations with photos throughout the years. Looking back on your photos with these hilarious quotes will make you smile as the years go on.
- “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A. Milne
- “I like to think of myself less like ‘an adult’ and more like a ‘former fetus.’” – Anna Kendrick
- “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
- “Every day in high school, I was looking for the snack, not knowing that I was the snack after all.” – Unknown
- “Turned all my Ls into lessons.” – Cardi B
- “The roof is not my son, but I will raise it.” – Unknown
- “Welp, glad that’s over.” – Unknown
- “Don’t follow your dreams, follow my Twitter: [insert Twitter handle].” – Unknown
- “Goodbye, everyone! I’ll remember you all in therapy.” – Plankton, Spongebob
- “The bell doesn’t dismiss you.” – Teachers
- “The only time I set the bar low is for limbo” – Michael Scott, The Office
- “Pain is temporary, GPA is forever” – Unknown
- “You’re doing amazing, sweetie!” – Kris Jenner
You’ve probably heard the saying, “Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.” You may have used it once or twice when you’ve had enough of a family member’s antics. If you need a lighthearted reminder of the funny side of family, look to the funny family quotes below. These quotes about family help keep everything light – they’re perfect to add to personalized gifts for any holiday or add into a greeting card to send out to the extended family and close friends.
- “We put the ‘fun’ in dysfunctional” – Unknown
- “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns
- “The informality of family life is a blessed condition that allows us all to become our best while looking our worst.” – Marge Kennedy
- “Families are like fudge – mostly sweet with a few nuts.” – Unknown
- “Being part of a family means smiling for photos.” – Harry Morgan
- “Family ties mean that no matter how much you might want to run from your family, you can’t.” – Unknown
- “The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.” – Robert Brault
- “Children really can brighten up a house, because they never turn the lights off.” – Ralph Bus
- “The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.” – Sam Levenson
- “One day you will do things for me that you hate. That is what it means to be family.” – Jonathan Safran Foer
What are best friends for if not to laugh out loud together? The following funny best friend quotes are as clever as they are true to your bond. Whether you’re looking to make them smile about what it’s like to be a friend or show them you understand the funny aspects of your relationship together, funny quotes are always perfect for your social media posts and gifts .
- “It’s fun to complain with someone. Nothing brings us together more than complaining about other people. That might be the thing that holds us together more than anything.” – Lew Schneider
- “Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.” – Greg Tamblyn
- “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
- “It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like ‘What about lunch?’” – A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
- “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” – Linda Grayson
- “If you have friends who are as weird as you, then you have everything.” – Unknown
- “We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… after I finish laughing.” – Unknown
- “God made up best friends because he knew our mom couldn’t handle us as sisters.” – Unknown
- “Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness and shenanigans.” – Unknown
- “Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.” – Unknown
Wrapping Up
Did you find some humor and a bit of inspiration in this collection of funny quotes about life? Save them and combine it with one of our wall art templates to memorialize the humorous sentiment.
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Thesis Humor A folder of memes and other funnies that describe the emotional roller coaster that is writing a thesis: You to roar with laughter at the absurdity of it all… More · 245 Pins 6y A Collection by Miss Aurora Similar ideas popular now Humor Writing School Humor Memes Funny Movie Quotes Funny Quotes Funny Memes Funniest Memes Tv Quotes
My big thesis is that although the world looks messy and chaotic, if you translate it into the world of numbers and shapes, patterns emerge and you start to understand why things are the way they are. Marcus du Sautoy Our basic thesis for bitcoin is that it is better than gold. Tyler Winklevoss
4. I'm writing my final research report for a Postgraduate Diploma in Astronomy, investigating the structure of the Milky Way Galaxy. I'd love to include the quote "My God! It's full of stars! -- Cmdr Dave Bowman, 2001, A Space Odyssey " somewhere in my paper.
Funny quotes about money 34. “If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker 35. “Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need...
So it should actually say, revise your Master's Thesis. I just can't stand this silly thing anymore. Cool Words. Wise Words. Words Of Wisdom. Quotable Quotes. Motivational Quotes. Inspirational Quotes. Motivational Speakers.
Funny Quotes About Work. Our jobs are undoubtedly a vital part of our lives when we learn different things, experiment with them, and meet people. These hilarious quips and funny work quotes poke fun at the ups-and-downs of being a working professional, and are guaranteed to make any day on the job better.